nullity of marriage

Yes, as a hermit of a different diocese informed me, and now verified by a canon lawyer, in order to be "canonically" consecrated, one must have nullity of marriage. However, private consecration does not require the annulment.

The next step, then, is for me to activate my annulment file at the Tribunal. I have made the call, and they are checking the file to make sure all information is up-to-date regarding witnesses. Sadly, the only witness who knew me before my marriage and during the marriage, knowing my ex-husband, is a woman with severe pain in her wrists and who cannot write without great difficulty. (She has pain elsewhere from a virus that settled years ago and caused permanent damage.) Hopefully she can do this writing required on whatever forms.

It is, at minimum, an act of charity for my ex-husband who has been remarried for years, in case he would ever desire to convert to Catholicism. He hates Catholicism, but in God all things are possible such as changes of heart and mind.

The physical suffering continues to be immense to the point of difficult to manage the attitude and to not despair, but one must simply keep going. The priest, the canon lawyer, and I had breakfast, as he is returning to Nigeria soon, and he said that a job such as working for the Office of Spiritual Develpment would, in his view, be quite consistent with my hermit rule of life. Yes, it would incorporate some solitude, but definitely stability, selflessness and very much suffering, for I would suffer much in enduring the consistency of the work when the pain is high.

Now I must try to plant two or three plants in the Mary Garden, and then rest again using ice packs. These seem the best for ameliorating the pain. I am increasing almsgiving and trying to be proactive in attempts to stave off despair. During the night I e-mailed another priest who somewhat knows my interior life and circumstances, although he cannot comprehend what it is like, for only those within their bodies can comprehend suffering for themselves. However, I did emphatically state that only God can sustain me, and that God is enough. I'm back to that.