Going Deep Within

Some of what happens, perhaps, in being led to and loving a vocation to the eremitic life is the gift of suffering. There is a link between hermits and suffering.

Both are vocations that lend well, one to the other. Both are very much deep, within, within with God. Suffering is one of the nine s' as is solitude.

Part of my struggle is and has been and shall be for the time here, is suffering. I can't say that suffering is the struggle, but it challenges the mind and body to a certain level of reality.

When I suffer, as I am now, I must go deep within. In moving, getting into the hermitage, planting the Mary Garden, and all else physical, such as the intense heat and drought of the summer, the constant pain in the body has also taken its toll. One must factor in the pain as part of the parameters of the call to hermit life. Suffering and the accompanying hiddenness, particularly when one does not appear to be in such pain, prod the person into a life outside the center, as one hermit's take on this vocation utilizes the term "eccentric."

So not only is suffering a gift and vocation, but the suffering helps place one into the vocation of hermit. In both, the mode of going deep within is necessary for the body and the soul.

Other thoughts, such as regarding the lack of hiddenness that could result from being a consecrated hermit, flow as I lie here trying to rest, knowing that in daylight I must water if I can, and then make a road trip an hour and a half south of here for a granddaughter's first birthday party. A bush is in the car, too heavy for me to take out, and a variety the same as the child's name, and her parents desired this very much for her. I am laying myself out trying to do, and the suffering is helping me to see more clearly that eremitic life is a balm to one who suffers. It provides the means to enduring in suffering, for it shelters the soul.

Acceptance and love of both suffering and solitude come in silence when the pain settles the mind in its unrest, and the mind must seek refuge in the soul by going deep within.