Casting the Nets

I have one answer now. After noon Mass on this Solemnity of the Assumption of the Blessed Virgin Mary, the Bishop kindly inquired as to how I am feeling, and so forth. Well, I can honestly respond that the pain level is lessening, thanks be to God, so I am feeling somewhat better! Then he said again he would be responding to my letters. I told him that my spiritual father suggested that I tell the B. how I "feel", and that I had told my spiritual father that the Bishop is too busy for that.... The Bishop then said that he thinks I should just live my life as I have been, that this is his thought on the matter.

I smiled, as I knew already that the request would be unapproved, and I felt relief to at least have the response. I told him he didn't need to take the valuable time from other duties to write, but he said since I wrote to him, he should write back.

What went unsaid, of course, were some promises made to Jesus during Mass. I got my strength, so to speak, and I realized I would need to cast the nets in all directions. Then, what ever net, if any, came up with a fish, that would be an answer, and those that came up empty would be answers, also. I love the verse in Hebrews that has been a favorite for many years, the one to do with: we are not of those who shrink back and are afraid but of those who persevere and have faith.

So, the options open up. The nets are as follows:

Live as I have been living. But this refutes the message of the angel in that from what I have read, one cannot be a hermit in the Church without being consecrated, canonically approved. For one thing, I need the commitment so as to have no wriggle room, as Dom Leclerq wrote.

Consider myself off the hermit hook, and thus all of life is before me like a smorgasbord. The message was not accurate, or has somehow shifted.

Thus, I can apply for the Diocese job and pray that God give the grace and stamina necessary to do it. I can be open to finding a rich, earthly husband with a bad heart and no heirs. (This is a joke, of course.) I could investigate purchasing a Catholic bookstore that is for sale, and have that as an apostolate plus gain some social security quarters which I need in order to get medicare eventually, since I am uninsurable.

Perhaps God intends a different Bishop, so I can wait until we have a new Bishop. If it is the current VG, then it is doubtful he would canonically approve me because he does not see the necessity. (And I'm still awaiting an authoritative word on this, not opinions.)

I could cast my nets in other Dioceses with other Bishops regarding the hermit life and canonical approval.

I could cast my nets with two abbots, or even three, as an abbot can consecrate a hermit as well as a bishop. I could move nearby, rent out Agnus Dei, and be a hermit as a canonical hermit.

I could leave the Church and become a secular hermit, but I know for a fact the angel did not have this in mind! Jesus has made it clear that I am to be a Catholic, and I have been, and will be.

For now I am trying to get more roses planted, as I did none this morning due to not knowing where to place them. It has not rained yet, and seems unlikely to. I must wait until the temps drop and rain comes before I can have the trees delivered and plant the rest of the roses and other perennials, so I cannot go on road trips to cast nets at the two or three abbeys or in other Dioceses. In the meantime, I wait and pray and rejoice that at least one net came up empty and that avenue of inquiry is closed. I did e-mail the woman re. the Office of Spiritual Development job, asking her candid opinion of my working there, as it will save effort of sending resume if that net comes up empty before it is cast.

I am totally open to whatever, and desire this process of temporal elimination of possibilities, and if the angel's message was accurate, then it will come back to that: hermit life. And it will be approved by the Church, if I am to be a Catholic hermit. If I am to be a Catholic nothing, then eventually that will be made clear for there will be no fish in any nets. My gut-level is that I am to be a Catholic hermit, but I should not assume but go forth in faith and persevere in net casting. Nets are not that difficult to cast, and they are cast in prayer as well as action.