Monday, April 21, 2008

Returned from Private Retreat

Returned from private retreat ten days early. Bizarre happenings. It ended up being a "business" trip with much suffering and a couple or three more "assignments." Have been quite ill. Obstacles persisted through the final airport with an issue over a small vial of holy water. The line was drawn, however, and other airport employees kindly boxed the small bottle and shipped it free in plane's belly. One bigoted employee did not get her way, thankfully, and the holy water from Mariazell basilica was not tossed out.

A letter came from a woman who reports nerve problems much of her life. She writes of how lonely it is to be a mystic. The timing of her letter is apropos, for the retreat brought another encounter with a soul of unusual dimension and also horrific capacities.

The experiences float in and out; much is blurred of the time away. The body nearly emptied of electricity save for a ground wire. The soul at times seemed, this past week, about to detach. Much rest, Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick, Mass finally and to see the Bishop and VG concelebrate, thankfully so. On eighth day of antibiotics and yet depleted, but sparks here and there, in evidence.

So much to mull over of the interior, of the experience which causes the nothing to confront an aspect of the soul. And this aspect causes the nothing to be yet more hidden. From Psalm 26 comes the assurance that the Lord has protected the nothing in His Tabernacle--and there the nothing shall remain.

For safe-keeping, the nothing must remain in the Tabernacle, and the Catholic Church is its only hiding place; and within that hiding place a very narrow nook for experience of others who have chosen to spill out the chalice, demonstrate a sorrowful fate.

So much occurred that is best, at least for now, not described. It has been shared with the confessor who has tried to comprehend. As for other matters, a confessor there in the distant land said to leave it to my Bishop. Another said God was proving the nothing. It seemed stretched beyond endurance, but here it be, and back at Mass late in the afternoon just past. And God willing and body able, to go today and from here on, and to remain in the Tabernacle.

"For my mother and father have left me, but the Lord hath taken me up." (Ps. 26)

Thursday, April 17, 2008

There Are Worse Things in Life than Death

This is the theme of a recent pilgrimage. There was much suffering involved. Returned quite ill in body and suffering in soul, as well. But this is the life and dying to self of a victim soul. If one offers to suffer and die for the Church, to live in Christ and do His will, to offer to join Christ in reparative suffering--then suffering is to be expected.

Why does it take me by surprise? Ignorance and naivete. Not being aware, perhaps, and not being focused enough on the mission as victim soul.

A poor confession was made elsewhere. The sin could not be adequately described, but it had to do with no suffering well enough, not appreciating the suffering, not honoring the present moment in the deep suffering--nor being joyful in the location of the suffering.

It is difficult to write at this time. So much has transpired. But victim souls seem to be called to be available for the individual, hidden and forgotten souls of the world. The reality becomes simply being put in their paths, literally, so as to get to know the need of their souls, and then in ways inexplicable to describe, having occasions build and unfold in order to suffer greatly for these very real and living persons.

And, it would seem quite feasible, that suffering can also be offered and experienced for those not living. Must ponder this awhile, however.

Friday, January 18, 2008

The Catholic Hermit Can't Wait, but Must

The regular confessor is due back, and the hermit has much contrition of heart. The confessional has been seeing much of the hermit lately. The nothing can't wait to go to confession, but must. Reading St. Silouan today has helped coagulate the regret even beyond this morning's repentance of being such an easy mark for the devil and being so weak.

Now the reality has settled: the hermit was impatient with others, shocked, angered, saddened, and also impatient with self. It has to do with more specifics of what was confessed today, with having not focused enough on God but being distracted and drawn out of the Sacred Heart. There was not possession of self.

Sometimes confessions go like that: first one with outer layers repented and absolved; then shortly after the inner layers may be seen and dealt with. One could use the onion image; but really, with confession, it is like a lovely rose, and removing petal after petal peacefully, gently, and letting them float to the ground of being, leaving the inner while the scent refreshes the soul.

The Catholic hermit has been foolish--again! Each day brings more pop quizzes in soul school. One can be ready to answer for one's own sins--but to answer for another? The hermit first must confess the impatience of self and the reaction in anger and then saddness. It is not pleasant to notice words and actions of self and others that are so disappointing. But reacting only made matters worse. For shame on this nothing. So in this next confession, we will pluck off more petals, revealing the core, and make amendment, do penance.

Despite the upset and frustration, really, of a disappointment in the very humanity this hermit is supposed to be embracing within the Sacred Heart, no matter what, this day has been rather blissful. Even the sad news of a prayer for someone hoping for something, brought the realization that the hermit must go to Adoration and thank God for the answered prayer for this young man--even if the answer was not what we all hoped for. Too often the hermit does not praise God for the answered prayers that go against its personal wants.

The writing has gone well, and the editing and reading and praying and mending and washing. An adult daughter helped with the disenabling process so the hermit could write in total ignorance of any possible readers. Now the hermit writes to God, for God--without distraction other than the ever-hindering self. It is like being able to ignore the next door neighbor again, for all has been peaceful since the detective took action. The neighbor has windows allowing sighting of the hermit, but the hermit cannot see the neighbor. Freedom--at least for the hermit!

What tremendous practice God provides to learn just what this morning's confessor said to do: pay no heed to others' views or opinions of the hermit's life and pay no heed to their lives. Of course, he did not mean to not love, to not pray, to not have compassion--but to not be distracted and not react. Sense God only.

St. Silouan writes relative to this new practice, and the hermit began exercises in placing many people within its heart and then nesting within the Sacred Heart. Also, the hermit practices admitting and answering for its own sins, but also to be willing to embrace as its own, the faults of others. This exercise helps not becoming impatient with others' failings or unexpected behaviors which can be disappointing. We disappoint ourselves, do we not? So, we are called to accept responsibility, in oneness, for our own and others' sins.

"We can all find ways of justifying ourselves on all occasions, but if we really examine our hearts we shall see that in justifying ourselves we are not guiless. Man justifies himself firstly because he does not want to acknowledge that he is even partially guilty o fthe evil in the world, and secondly because he does not realize that he is gifted with godlike freedom: he sees himself merely as part of the world's phenomena and, as such, dependent on the world. Tehre is a considerable element of bondage in this, and self-justification, therefore, is a slavish business unworthy of a son of God."

The Staretz had no sign of self-justification in him. Of course, he was an evolved soul, and he had grown in holiness over the years by grace and through cooperation with God's grace! He possessed the Spirit of Christ in that he could accept the blame for the faults of others; people of the world would consider that subjection. The Staretz could feel all humanity as a single whole to be incorporated in the personal existence of every man.

"According to the second commandment, Love thy neighbour as thyself, each of us must and can comprise all mankind i his own personal being, in the same way as each of the three Persons of the Godhead contains the fullness of Divine Being. Thus we shall accept all the evil in the world not as something extraneous but as evil in which we too have our part, and contend with evil, with cosmic evil, beginning in our own selves."

The hermit is practicing this. Knowing one's own sins is on-going petal-plucking; knowing other's sins is something God allows so that the hermit can learn to love and learn to suffer the consequences of its sins and others' sins; and from suffering, the hermit can love all the more.

"The love of Christ being a Divine force and a gift of the Holy Spirit, the One Spirit acting universally, makes all men ontologically one. Love takes to itself the life of the loved one. The man who loves God is drawn into the Godhead; he who loves his brother draws his brother's life into his own hypostatic being; the man who loves the whole world in spirit will embrace the whole world."

Why is it that God chooses to have some men separated from contact, one with the other, in the temporal realm? Perhaps this is true more for the hermit than others, for the hermit is to have a stricter separation from the world in the tangible effects; but the spiritual love--loving the whole world and all souls in it, in spirit--is the very work of the hermit.

A new phase is beginning! The Catholic hermit is going to write in a new blog. While not a full year from the friend's challenge that the hermit could not be a complete hermit due to externals--the hermit has learned that this is true--but more from truth that one can never be complete this side of the beatific vision! So now the hermit is going to write a blog from the suggestion of the regular confessor, who said, "Refer to yourself as 'the Catholic hermit.'" To commemorate the passageway, tomorrow "The Catholic Hermit" commences.



On Distinguishing Good from Evil

This section of the Staretz' doctrinal teaching (in the book about St.Silouan) smooths the frigid day with warm comfort. Comfort allows peace to bring clarity of understanding and thought. A Catholic hermit must learn clarity in understanding and thought. This comes under, perhaps, the S of stillness.

Now to quote what Sophrony the Archimandrite shares of St. Silouan's teaching:

"The Staretz...held that the certain sign by which to recognize good from evil is not so much the end, which may appear to be holy and sublime, as the means selected to achieve the end.

"God alone is absolute. Evil, which has no original essence but is merely the resistance of the free creature to God, cannot be absolute. Therefore the evil does not and cannot exist of itself but must live like a parasite on the body of good. Evil must find a justification, must appear disguised as good, and often the highest good. Evil always and inevitably contains an element appearing to have a positive value, and it is this which seduces man. Evil strives to present its positive facet as a jewel so precious, or at all events so desirable, that all means are justified to attain it.

"Absolute good cannot be achieved in man's earthly existence: there is an element of imperfection in all human undertakings. This presence of imperfection in human good on the one hand, and the inevitable presence of some pretence of good in evil on the other, often make it extremely difficult to distinguish good from evil.

"The Staretz believed that evil always proceeds by means of deceit,camouflaging itself as good, whereas good in order to realize itself does not need the co-operation of evil. Therefore as soon as wrong means--malice, lying, violence and their like--make their appearance, one is entering a domain alien to the spirit of Christ. Good is not attained by evil means, and the end does not justify the means. Good not obtained by good means is not good. This is the testament we have received from the Apostles and holy Fathers. Although good frequently triumphs and by its appearance rectifies evil, this does not mean that evil has led to good, that good has come out of evil. That is impossible. But the power of God is such that where it appears, it heals all things so wholly that no scar remains--the damage caused by evil is effaced--for God is the fullness of life and creates life from nothing."

These aspects of distinguishing good from evil will take some consideration, over the course of this day, while editing the complaints of those who have been evily deceived and cheated in the consumer world, while putting more tangible objects in loving order in the hermitage, while writing the question about writing to be placed before the eyes of the Bishop (for the Lord sees through the eyes of my Bishop), while praying for good to occur in several prayer intentions others have requested, while reading the Gospel of St. John and more from the Staretz, aand while looking out onto the smooth-iced Lake Immaculata, along with Pope Benedict XVI, whose framed photo is enthroned by the window and smiles kindly at the Catholic hermit and says with his eyes: be good, be holy.

St. Antony Jogs the Catholic Hermit's Memory

While hanging wet laundry, St. Antony placed a memory in the Catholic hermit's mind.

The child took the bamboo pole and container of worms to the channel to fish. David, the neighbor child, had already been out and placed several fishing poles, baited with nightcrawlers and beavertails, along the edges of two channels, positioning them over bass beds.

His mother comes out, bee-lines to the child wanting to fish, and wags her finger at the child, and speaks authoritatively, loudly--admonishes the child that David is to fish, and the child is not to fish, for David was there first and the other must go away. The child picked up the bamboo pole and bait, and silently headed back into the cottage, but teary eyed.

The child's mother asked why the child had returned. The child said what David's mother had said. The mother was not pleased at this.

When the father came home not long after, the mother told the father what the neighbor woman had done. The father, a tall, handsome, reserved man, set his jaw. He went over to the neighbor woman's cottage and asked her a question. Then he told her quite evenly that his child had every right to fish in the channel, and that there were three channels, and that they did not own these channels. They were for everyone to enjoy and fish from. Then he returned.

The child was instructed to take the pole, the bait and return to the channel to fish. By then the child had lost the desire to fish, and yet the mother insisted that the child go back out. So the child did. But if there were fish caught, by either of the children, is not recalled.

Why did St. Antony bring this particular memory from the realm of the numinous intellect? Well, there were connections, of course, to the intercessions asked of him. So the Catholic hermit prayed, asking the Father to go to the neighbors and explain that there are plenty of channels in which all may enjoy fishing.

But the Catholic hermit is not quite sure it still has the desire to fish. The confessor this morning says to fish, but not to notice anyone else who is fishing, and only to fish for God's glory. So the hermit agreed to go back out and fish awhile. If the channel seems icky with surface scum and weeds, or stinky from muck, then it will return inside to enjoy other endeavors, or go out in front to the lake to swim in the clear waters. This is a transition phase. The waters are being tested, the depths plumbed. If more clarity does not come in a few days, the hermit will ask the Bishop to give his wishes as to the format of the hermit's writing.

The Catholic hermit told the confessor that it liked best the story of The Littlest Angel. The little child in heaven was allowed to have his most treasured, earthly possession: a small box of child-delights which had been kept under his bed, at home, on earth. The littlest angel ended up giving his box of simple treasures to the Baby Jesus, as his only gift to offer, while the older angels looked on. The littlest angel was focused on Jesus, not noticing the other angels watching.

So it is, the hermit told the confessor, that the only gift it has ever had--the most treasured earthly gift God has given the hermit, from childhood on--is the gift of writing. The hermit lays it before the Infant Jesus; the confessor commends the hermit to keep writing but only for God without thought of or personalizing others' reactions. The Catholic hermit can only try this and wait and see.

Glory to God in the Highest, and on earth, peace and good will to all men.


Thursday, January 17, 2008

The Catholic Hermit Begs St. Antony's Intercessions

A friend who is perhaps more the hermit, forced somewhat into her home by the struggles with an illness, writes her opinion in an e-mail; we visit via e-mail.

"...the life  of St. Antony the
Abbot: He went and lived as a hermit for many many years
before he became an abbot. I mean he was REALLY a
hermit--lived for years isolated, and fought the hardest of
temptations: himself. Please read his biography (it
should be on the net. From his life, it is apparent that
the hermitic [sic] life came years before any public recognition.


I've read the biography and mailed it off a year or so ago to a lapsed Catholic friend who's birthday is today--his Feast Day! But this is a good reminder to ponder St. Antony's life. Today at Mass, besides praying for the friend who lives far from the Church now as well as geographically, the nothing begged St. Antony to intercede, to help this hermit in 2008 live the life God desires, that the vows have stated, that the rule of life spells out.

The confessor this morning said that the prayer is placed before God that He give the Catholic hermit an answer regarding the writing, which is coming down to a fork in the path on the mountain climb: public or private? Seems like hermits are constantly called to this choice!

St. Antony renounced the world and went into the desert. Is the internet a desert? One can argue either way, for it is a kind of space without boundaries other than legal boundaries, of course. This, too, is what hermits face in law and spirit of the law. Seems as if the internet can be private or public, depending upon identity.

One of the Catholic hermit's adult children is a computer consultant--actually is one of about 40 in the country with a particular specialization. (Is this an acceptable pride--to rejoice in the success of another? I pray so!) This adult child says there are ways, of course, that identity may be broken, even on the internet, on blogs. In fact, for the hermit, there has been an observation of seeming extreme following. Are the excessive log-ons interested in the writing out of healthy interest, or curiosity, or for ill intent? Or, is it what I have tongue-in-cheek to a couple of times: the hermit police?

The police benefit society, for they help bring justice, help defend, and also protect. The Catholic hermit appreciates, really, the bringing up of thoughts misstated, incorrect, or questions about this or that. Yes, questions are always good. The detective asked many questions. The Catholic hermit asks many questions, and mulls through matters, and prays for guidance, and gets it. We all get answered prayers.

Another adult child is adept in this type of work, and has helped the hermit in the past to gain a perspective and handle on doing undercover work for the Lord. This adult child has been in secret work for an arm of the government.

The other adult child is in a position of public view as journalist. This has been of benefit in other ways, as already pondered.

In all, a hermit can utilize the world in order to transfer the ways of the world, the good of careers and techniques--over to the spiritual life.

Is the internet too much world, or is it spiritual space? That is something the Catholic hermit ponders today while praying for many intentions given in the past couple of days, of needs of people out in the world. Also, the Staretz has written of that oneness, of learning to pray and be one with the world, with those living and dead and yet to come into being.

St. Antony and the Lord have heard the prayer request. An answer is forthcoming.

Conglomeration vegetable soup is simmering; the mission work of editing awaits the hermit's prayerful efforts--this, too, via internet. As in the neighborhood, people in the bloggerworld could take anything written and use it for ill, to twist as the neighbors twisted matters in order to discredit, or to support as others came to the support and counsel, or to clarify as the detective kindly yet professionaly interviewed, took notes, got facts.

It will be interesting to learn what God and St. Antony decide--and St. Antony based upon what God decides, of course! St. Antony is one with God in God's will and perceives clearly from his heavenly vantage.

The Canon Lawyer: in the name of the Church

The Canon lawyer discussed Canon 603, of 1983 and explained it was a revision of the 1917 Canon regarding eremitic life. He said that laws are created due to abuses and also because of desire by some to have "official stamp" of approval. Perhaps there have been those, he pointed out, who said they were going to live a life of stricter separation from the world or in prayer and fasting, but did not. The law provides for the Bishop to step in and correct the abuses, if the hermit has been publicly avowed, and those vows received by the Bishop.

He said it is a legality, of publicly approving the hermit in the name of the Church, of it being of public record, regardless of how many were actually at the profession of vows. He said that may be just the hermit and the Bishop. But it is done in the name of the Church, with the Bishop saying he receives the vows on behalf of the Church.

As for vows being made publicly but not received by the Bishop, that could not be in the name of the Church. This is what must be made clear, for this was the stumbling point. In St. Colette's time, she made vows publicly, and she was generally known as the anchorite, and her life exemplified this. Now, a person would not be seen as a hermit in the name of the Church. The public aspect today is that of the law, of the Bishop receiving the vows in the name of the Church, on behalf of the Church.

The Catholic hermit wants to clarify this, for it had not been accurate--or at least not clear. A hermit could not make vows publicly--or at least it would not be in the name of the Church. There are religious sisters and brothers, even a young man in cassock, floating about, and we're told even some former priests--who are doing their own thing, and obviously not in the name of the Church. Some say they are approved, or in legitimate religious communities. Some are even in approved communities or are active priests but not living their vows, and the Bishops could and do step in to correct the abuses but sometimes do not, for various reasons, and often quite prudent reasons.

The Church's official stamp of approval
and in the name of the Church seem key in this topic. They were used repeatedly to explain the situation.

Next he spoke of private vows. He said what has been written and repeated: that the privately avowed hermit is also consecrated, also approved, and in keeping with the Church's allowance of this form as well. This type of hermit is approved, but the vows have not been received in the name of the Church by the Ordinary of the Diocese. It is not under Canon Law 603.

The Canon lawyer explained much background of CL603, and the Catholic hermit just listened. When asked some question or two, the Canon lawyer was surprised that the hermit knew much at all, but the hermit felt it best to not go into too much of the research, for most of that has been focused on living the life, as am not that interested in the legalities. (That should have been another clue that this hermit wasn't all that desirous of public profession and consecration, for it does involve legalities, forms, papers and what not--and being known.)

We then began discussing possibilities. A privately avowed hermit could commit abuses and not be under the legal responsibility of the Bishop. The publicly avowed hermit could commit abuses, and thus would be done in the name of the Church, and the Bishop could or would step in and stop the abuses. With the privately avowed hermit who commits abuses, it would not be committed in the name of the Church, for the private hermit does not have that official stamp. Either way it would be a horrible thing, indeed, to abuse one's vocation and hurt the Church.

I'm not sure how that would be--either as a public or private hermit--to disobey the Bishop? The public or private hermit would not strive to follow his or her rule of life? Would intentionally lead others astray? The Canon lawyer said the Bishop or designe could tell the publicly consecrated hermit to not fast, for example, if there was a concern about the degree of fasting. The publicly consecrated hermit would be bound to obey. If the privately consecrated hermit was told by the Bishop or designe the same, it would not be legally binding--although spiritually so, for one is to obey one's Bishop!

It came down to, once again, in the name of the Church and Church law. He pointed out once more that there is something very real in the law of God between the soul and God and that relationship which is at root of what one should be concerned with. But, he said that some people desire the Church's official or legal stamp of approval, and thus they approach the Bishop to have their vows publicly professed and received.

The Catholic hermit asked directly, "Do I need this official stamp of approval?" He said, "No, not at all." He said that I am approved by the Church and accepted as a hermit, but privately so. It is not in the legal sense.

The Catholic hermit explained the annulment process after so many years, and that there were not enough living witnesses who knew both parties prior, during, and after. While the agent was going to pursue a different path to gain the necessary documentation of invalidity, the hermit had already decided that when the process was opened it was for a reason that no longer existed, other than purity for Jesus. But, Jesus didn't seem to mind the status. Then the hermit told the Canon lawyer what the confessor had said, to not bother with it; and that seemed a relief to the hermit. If the Bishop wanted the Catholic hermit to be canonically approved, there is provision in the Canon to dispense the marriage restriction. (Is that 643.1? Somewhere in there.) Besides, the hermit had worked through the thought of being spiritually bonded to the spouse and various others involved with the spouse over the years. More souls to pray for and love and bring before the Lord's mercy seat.

The Canon lawyer, too, felt that the private vows were and are the path for this hermit. The hermit responded with joy and gratitude, for in working through this, from thinking one way to being shown another, over months and months, being nothing known and not publicly approved in the name of the Church, of not having any public stamp of approval--seems just right and preferred. It's the baby bear's just-right bowl of porridge.

Surely it comes down to God's will for each individual hermit as to law or spirit. And surely there can be spirit in the law.

Someone once asked in a comment, by what authority do I have--? Well, I do not speak or write as a hermit by any official Church stamp of approval. It makes what I write all the more vulnerable, and requires more accountability to God, and more checking with the confessors and spiritual father and now Canon lawyer, and at times with the Bishop--to make sure I am living my consecrated life as one ought; but it is a consecration not public and not even "legal" by the Code (but valid by the Catechism of the Catholic Church which must make it all right by God.)

Well, this has helped the Catholic hermit immensely to come to a peace about it all. I pray others have not been too upset by the lack of clarification, in the non-technical explanation, for even in the career of the world, the nothing was told it was a poet at heart. In personality alone, the nothing realizes that the public consecration would not have been a good thing for this one. It has always shunned such matters, and after entertaining big ideas of other options, has always chosen what for it is the path of greater suffering. For this Catholic hermit, that path is to remain very privately consecrated--not above Church law by any means, or outside the law, but far beneath it.

Now, the Catholic hermit is beginning to ponder--by what authority does it write or speak? That is a good quesiton. While the ego would love it if it was by God's authority, or as St. Silouan came in his great holiness to speak from the power of the Holy Spirit, the Catholic nothing hermit speaks and writes probably most often from inept struggling and at other times hopefully from some slight glimmers of the Holy Spirit.


Wednesday, January 16, 2008

The Catholic Hermit Speaks with the Bishop

There is such joy and freedom in the blog genre! The Catholic hermit became weary with pondering externals. The anonymity and nothingness of blog-writing verges on the existential supernatural. The Staretz comments upon love, prayer, living, evil and freedom. He wafted with God. He gained knowledge not through the natural externals but through pure prayer. The Holy Spirit bequeathed love so that St. Silouan learned to embrace all in God.

There has been much laughter recently. Blogging brings laughter even though no one hears. The sharing of inner thoughts, unseen, unidentified by any externals, is freeing. The freedom is created by the humility of the soul's being stripped to the perusal of others. Or if not voyeurs, there possibly could be. The blog creates a neighborhood much like the subdivision: all types, various intents, assumptions, judgments, support, insanity, truths, untruths, peeping Toms, unknowns.

An angel accompanied a soul into a large room where a table was set--arrayed with elegance in cuisine, china, linens, goblets. The soul was shown this table, and then told amazing and wondrous--even glorious--words of what awaited that soul. It became too much to bear, and the soul exclaimed this to the angel: This is too much, too good, too glorious to even hear! Then the angel showed the soul more: a white pottery plate, very simple, was placed on the white linen cloth, at the foot of the table. What was on it? A partially nibbled, steamed ear of corn. The angel said, "And this is your place."

There has been much laughter, yes, over the blog writing. It is a gift of humility, for others can read and misread, not read, assume, criticize, agree, disagree. There is no limit to the freedom. It is being exposed without need to cover: vulnerability to the nothingness so humbling. There is a kind of delight in being unwittingly analyzed, or better yet, totally ignored. It is the dead writing to the living dead.

The Catholic hermit, prior to Mass, received humorous little nudges from God. Signal graces. Life is good, the world is beautiful, people are loving! Then the mind was re-minded of how critical it had seemed just six months ago, to have a place in the Church: a category. Was that really the this same nothing who so wanted a place, a designation, a category? How dreadfully opposed to the white pottery plate with the partially eaten ear of corn--could a soul so foolishly tread?

Thoughts then came to rest on Canon 603 for a final glance, notwithstanding the Canon lawyer's final word. What was it that made people, possibly hermits themselves, in the early 1980's, entreat a Church law to designate and recognize a category? That was an interesting decade following upon two previous interesting decades. Laws are made to stop abuses or to introduce something that people want. This is rather simplistic, but the thoughts ran in simple rivulets. In a century of ten decades hence, what will be the result of the introduction of this law? Will it have created better hermits? Will there be more laws made necessary to hinder abuses or to define more options? These thoughts glittered briefly, then sprinkled to the terrazo floor of the Cathedral chapel and went the way of incidentals.

Thoughts turned to St. Antony the Abbot and his peer and lesser known predecessor, St. Paul the Hermit--then to various civil laws yet in unfolding outcomes. The mind drifted like dust particles in snap-shot by angled sunlight transecting the chapel windows. No laws; yes, laws: What's the verdict? To some, it matters greatly. To others, not much if at all.

The Bishop celebrated the noon Mass. He spoke of vocations and freedom within to hear God speaking, to listen if called to a vocation to the priesthood or religious life. We are, in prayer, to listen to God's will. There was no mention of a call to the hermit life as a vocation, although the law creates a legality for hermits who wish, to have entitlement to the title of a religious. Perhaps this is what some had desired: to have a niche as do the nuns and monks and priests, and now, too, consecrated virgins. Laws can further define a category and set precedence for process.

But the Catholic nothing hermit viewed with joy the image of the white porcelain plate at the foot of the table--and the by now cold, half-eaten ear of corn. Laughing without a hint of external expression, the Catholic nothing hermit knew there would be no place now--for none was desired. This is freedom! Humility is freeing. To be accused of certain presumptions whether confronted or assumed is all the more humbling; and to not explain or justify oneself is even yet more humbling, thus freeing!

After Mass, the nothing kissed the Bishop's ring. He had first leaned forward to embrace the nothing, as he does with old friends, but the nothing noticed some others who would notice, and there was no need to be noticed receiving the grace of his Grace's especial loving kindness. (The Immaculate Conception kiss on the cheek by the Church yet foments [in archaic sense] the loving essence of bestowal: a place. It is a hidden gift from God.)

The nothing and the Bishop conversed; and the nothing could have asked about hermit canon laws and such, but legalities pale to supernaturalities, and there was a more exigent matter to share regarding a young, titled man who broke Church law; (sadly) so goes the saying: laws are made to be broken. Still praying with hope beyond hope for the souls involved.

St. Silouan shares thoughts. (The Catholic nothing hermit exalts in these kernels!)

With our minds, we cannot come to know even how the sun was made; and if we beg God to tell us how He made the sun, the answer rings clear in our soul: 'Humble thyself and thou shalt know not only the sun but the Creator of the sun.'

"These almost naive words refer to two different forms of knowledge of being. The usual way to acquire knowledge, the one we all know, consists in the dircting of the intellectual faculty outwards where it meets with phenonmena, sights, forms, in innumerable variety--a differentiation ad infinitum of all that exists.This means that the knowledge thus acquired is never complete and has no real unity....

"The other way to acquire knowledge of being is to turn the spirit in and towards itself and then to God. Here the process is the exact reverse. The mind turns away from the endless plurality and fragmentariness of the world's phenomena, and with all its strength addresses itself to God in prayer and through prayer is directly incorporated in the very Act of Divine Being, and begins to see both itself and the whole world."

I want only one thing: to pray for all men as for myself, wrote the Staretz.

And the Catholic nothing hermit desires this one thing, also.



Tuesday, January 15, 2008

The Staretz on Obedience

The Staretz attributed the utmost importance to the question of obedience, not only for monks and Christians individually but in the life of the whole body of the Church....He would accept his confessor's first words, his first intimation, and carry the conversation no further. This is the wisdom and mystery of true obedience, the purpose of which is to know and fulfill God's will, and not man's....

In the vast sea which is the life of the Church the true tradition of the Spirit flows like a thin pure stream, and he who would be in this stream must renounce argument. When anything of self is introduced the waters no longer run clear, for God's supreme wisdom and truth are the opposite of human wisdom and truth. Such renunciation appears intolerable, insane even, to the self-willed, but the man who is not afraid to 'become a fool' has found true life and true wisdom.

Sofrony the Archmandrite. The Undistorted Image. 1958. London: The Faith Press, pp. 57-58.


Noon Mass came between some writing, and this was very good. It is amazing how one reads what is helpful in the cell, to the world that comes in from outside the cell, and to reflect and pray, to read and write, to learn and grow.

More comments have come, and remain unpublished, for this is not a place of argument. This blog is an extension of spiritual reflections but also the application to life experiences, dove-tailed in obedience to the Catholic hermit's confessor. He is gone for a few days. The Canon lawyer is now consulted, since the writings must be clarified if details are incorrect. He is going to study the questions brought up in the reader's comments, and to pray for the will of God in what seems to be blog-combing in order to find a tangle to tug. His initial response is that there is the law, of course, and then there is the spirit or essence of the law. But again, he stated, as did the regular confessor, that it seems rather a drawing off from the purity of how one lives the hermit life, and the point is to live it, whether public or privately professed. So we will get an answer on a couple of specific stumbling blocks to readers, and then move on. "Moot point" comes to mind.

This canon lawyer said, also, I must write for now, as it is good to share the reflections as one who is trying, and to record the path of this form of eremitic life which is not of CL603 and not public. He said if even one person is encouraged who does not want to be consecrated publicly, or publicly via CL603, then the writing has done a good. So, this keeps being said, in different ways, by different priests. Must I go to the Bishop and bother him about such matters? It is not necessary.

The canon lawyer priest repeated that the Gospels say "Jesus went about doing good." That is what the eremitic must do, whether public or private. There are many street corners in London town, and many blog sites for hermits to express their God-willed paths of the eremitic life.

In the Catholic hermit's past, writing briefs was part of the life-in-the-world scene, and of debating the de jure and de facto aspects of cases. But this was not the hermit's soul or spirit; the hermit was not called by God to remain in that spot but rather, once God's will has been made clear from many directions, the Catholic hermit must do spiritual mountain climbing as a privately consecrated and professed (and yes, approved) eremitic, and log the trip along the way.

Please, dear readers, don't read these blogs as they are no doubt a waste of time-- especially when the blogs get bogged in trying to charitably unclog what is of little issue to the spirit of the hermit life. The Catholic hermit apologizes for any who take offense in the writing; simply don't read it. Return to the roots of eremiticism!

The Catholic hermit apologizes for not desiring to debate or write other than what am directed to do: and that is to chronicle this journey, from this validated and credible, but privately so, eremitic vocation. Others are encouraged and free to journal their own vocation. And may we pray for each other as we climb?


St. Silouan on the Unity of the Spiritual World

Before quoting the Staretz on the titled topic, there have been unresolved blog-keeping chores to clear from the list. There have been comments from two readers which I did not publish. Two of the comments from the first anonymous commenter had become testy and put the commenter in a negative light, for anger was shown, and also the confusion which accompanies. So, it seemed best to not publish these, for this site is a sharing of an unknown's progressive thoughts and of acknowledged beginner's attempts to plumb the spiritual ocean--not to be a trysting ground.

The other comment not published was well-written and rather an ecocanonical exposition or debate, and request for a kind of retraction of a term used. It seemed best, after conferring with the confessor, to not publish since the commenter has a site already to express his/her views on the topic. I was told to express this other view, this other perspective, and told to not use the term which caused the other person to be stirred. So I did, and was told that the view I represent or attempt to live out is valid, and the other person's view is valid for that category. Those who guide me desire a certain way, and those who guide the other desire the other way. Thus, there was no sense in drawing off of what are two credible but differing subsets of living the "one" hermit life. Debate can sometimes distract or dilute the spiritual essence.

The more I read of hermit lives, I do respect the reasons and desires for those who God wills to have public approval by their Bishops in a Mass, to have their vows professed publicly before their Bishops and be known as hermits in their Dioceses. God has use for public and private hermits, it appears, through the history of hermits. I also respect the reasons and desires for those who God wills to have very private consecrations, even if their Bishops have received their vows privately or held by designes in the Diocese. God and each hermit, and each hermit's Bishop and spiritual guides, ascertain the chosen path, through God's will.

I pray that my blogs are not read with the intent or result in causing division but rather of, as my confessor desired, giving a view of another valid form of hermit life. My Diocese takes more the private route, and this is not that they do not go along with Church law which provides for a public profession. Their view of hermit life is that of the more private path. I am in this Diocese, and I have no need to move to find one that is otherwise; both forms are valid and credible. We hermits need to be one with another, and to love and pray we grow in holiness, and to inspire one another in the spiritual, ineffable realities which fulfill and can transcend laws. The holy and necessary laws of the Church provide tandem paths for hermits.

Now, for the beautiful sharing of St. Silouan's thoughts on the unity of the spiritual world and the greatness of the saints.

The life of the spiritual world the Staretz recognized as one life, and because of this unity every spiritual phenonmenon inevitably reacts on the state of the whole spiritual world: if the phenonmenon be good 'all heaven' rejoices; if evil, 'all heaven' sorrows. Though every spiritual phenomenon inevitably leaves its mark on the whole spiritual world, that intangible communion in the existence of all things of which the Staretz wrote is chiefly peculiar to the Saints. Such awareness as this, which exceeds the bounds of human knowledge, he ascribed to the action of the Holy Spirit in whom the soul 'sees' and embraces the whole world in her love. The Saints partially receive this gift through the Holy Spirit while they are still on earth, but it increases when they pass away.

Monday, January 14, 2008

So What's So Terrible About Being a Leper?

This is the question put to a friend who called the other night. He said he felt like a leper in certain circumstances. He had returned to a former area in which he had public recognition in an ecclesial way, and he liked it that people called him by his title--since he is now in a different area, rather in a kind of exile.

But leprosy is a disease not caused by wrong-doing, wrong choices, sin. There is a difference in that aspect; yet it is how people do perceive the type of afflictions that others have, which makes his issue painful for him, obviously.

I reminded him that Jesus loves the lepers; He heals them.

We also brought up that he liked being in an area where people knew him from his past and called him by his "title." We discussed how this can be, even in the Church--and why it is so hard to simply be lepers, to be rather undesirable to a certain mode or strata. Is it a need for approval? A subconscious desire for recognition?

I mentioned my brief web search and the results. Shared the one man from Canada who tossed his career for now and was going out into the relative wilderness to live, to get close to God, to be a hermit. This man not once mentioned trying to gain a title or be approved or public. We do not know the outcome; he is now hidden from the eyes of men and silently preaching Christ by his life. We may never know anything more of this private Catholic hermit; or he may emerge later on, and write a book, or become public, or become a priest, or not. For now, he seems to have desired nothing and has chosen to be nothing, at least not to the world.

So, I asked again, "What's so bad about being a leper?"--considering that all through Scripture and in the lives of saints, we find souls who struggle with afflictions and sin, and are loved and healed. We read the first shall be last, and to be meek, and to not seek after acclaim but to pound our chests and cry out: Be merciful to me, O Lord, for I am a sinner!

He said he'd think about it. He liked the idea that we have choices, and the choice involves being of one world or the other or strattling both. It is true that some are called to the world of the Church, but he is not in the way he still seems to desire, to have the title and the notice, to be approved. He admits he goes back and forth with this, which is human. I did that for years. It might hit again, the thought that I need some kind of approval, but I kinda doubt it. The sheer repugnance of even having my name and defamed character cleared in the newspaper sent me into shock, and now the letter is going to be pulled. As long as others do not act in a criminal manner based upon their ill thoughts of me, I don't mind what they choose to think.

St. Bruno did not hang around for public recognition or approval. When the Benedictine monastery wasn't hidden enough, and not quite the charism he sensed for himself within and from God, he and his six companions traipsed further into the Alps. He melted into the snow.

Friday, January 11, 2008

Well, It's Something About Nothing

The adult son called. The paper is going to print his letter. He apologized but said he had to use the nothing's name. He gave some credibility with the credentials, and a bit of background. He crunched the issue, pounded it out, hard-hitting and no-mincing. He took the paper to task for not investigating the truth, took the neighborhood to task for believing it and not ever simply coming to the door to ask, and laid out the situation next door as between individuals over what was unjustified to begin with.

He suggested that people come to get to know his nothing parent! Well, I laughed about this with the cousin, for the cousin said maybe I'd have a stream of people to the door now. Dear God in Heaven, the nothing hopes not--but only as God may will and desire. Nothing must always be open to anything God wills.

Being a coward, the nothing hopes and prays that this will not escalate matters, since the detective has had his talk with the folks next door.

So, we wait. An adult daughter, her husband and baby are coming from a distance on the morrow. They are a bit concerned, to say the least. But, we must trust and be assured that God is handling this well, and that only good will come for everyone.

Indefinitely Nothing

If there were to be a new and different blog, to follow along with the desired embrace of the fact of being nothing, it could be called Indefinitely Nothing. Totally Nothing was considered, but it is too constricting, for nothing is total, just as the title The Complete Hermit is a bit tongue-in-cheek, for no hermit is complete.

Nothingness and learning of nothingness extends indefinitely. But, there probably will not be a switch in blogs, for after another year, or sooner, there may be some other realization in spiritual growth, and stability includes just staying put. This can be in abode and in blogs.

A sense of terror gripped, last night, for a moment or so. It stemmed from the escalating neighbor situation. Then, into the mind flashed memories of childhood, of a protected, calm childhood. The mother displayed a temper at times, but even in the temper, she meant well; most of her temper did have a point: she loved, and we were reared to be responsible and good. The father was very much the gentle man. The memory included his having the mother take the children to a lake home prior to the movers coming, when the family had sold their old home, and in a few months moving into one being built. He did not want the teen-age children, at that time, to be upset in any way, or to have tears over leaving the old house!

After these flashes of the protected and calm childhood, a deep and sorrowful unveiling of the thousands of children terrorized within their own families--afraid of parents, siblings, relatives--of children terrorized in unsafe neighborhoods, in unsafe schools, in unsafe situations! Tears started to come. O Lord, how is it that I had such a lovely childhood and am now grown old and have but a few instances of terror in my life, and these children are in fear day in and night out?

The Holy Spirit is instructing in these thoughts and experiences, these realizations. Perhaps St. Silouan is coming through in answer to prayers that he help this nothing soul here, who desires to be emptied, humbled, nothing--in order to love purely, to pray purely, to sorrow without visible tears or any notice by others--the sorrows of the world as Jesus sorrows.

There was a kind of nightmare, but it was only that. In the dream, the nothing noticed the neighbor woman sneaking across the yard in back, and was then seen to be grilling something, and the husband and son were there, too, by this large grill that appeared in the nothing's yard! They did not see me watching, but opened the grill hood, and on it was roasting a skinned cat, and then a meatloaf-type mound of ground cat innards. Was this not a nightmare?

Upon waking, the nothing thought of the newspaper editor who would not print a retraction but agreed to the nothings's something adult, journalist son's entreaties, and will print the son's letter. Then the reality of how good is God to have had the paper print this irresponsible piece of jouranlistic sensationalism which was little more than character defamation. It was that little false story that was bringing the issues with the neighbor to a head, and hopefully a conclusion, and possibly some help for the neighbor who would otherwise probably go on to harm someone else.

So God does bring such good in all situations. Glory be to God! The nothing is praying thanksgivings for the newspaper editor, despite what otherwise would seem a very negative to print. Hopefully, the adult son's letter will calm the neighborhood and set straight the truth for others who believed and are acting on falsehood. This, too, is good, to give responsibility to the son, as the rest of the family look to him now, since he has a visible position with the media in a large city, and will know how to write the retraction with sensitivity and legal prudence.

The detective called this morning to ask if there was anything left while the nothing had been to Mass. No, thanks be to the Lord. And nothing in today's mail, either. He asked for the full details, the background, and it took awhile to go through it, and it was upsetting to have to repeat such incomprehensible evil. But, it is necessary in order to bring this episode to a hoped-for conclusion. He advised the nothing to stay as far away from these people as possible, forever. Here is another good: the nothing will continue to be as if in another world, for already when gardening or going to the mailbox, even if the neighbor was out and saying things loudly in detraction about the nothing to neighbors, the nothing never flinched or turned or looked but kept on weeding or planting or taking the trash out to the curb. It is excellent training in focus, in self-abnegation, in nothingness.

He said he will be making a call to the neighbors, and having a little talk with them, after he and the deputy go through the nasty packet left by the front door yesterday. He said the postal inspector will be handling the letters sent by US mail, and hopefully putting a stop to that with whoever sent them. He said he hoped this would cause anything further from happening.

The nothing, in telling of the details of the various outbursts of the neighbor and anything that may have triggered them, hopefully glorified God. The Bishop had exhorted his flock to manifest Jesus to the world. So when the detective asked why the nothing had kept the little red bag on the porch and only gave it to the deputy yesterday, the response as honestly that it was used as a reminder to pray more for the neighbors, since the lights on all night glaring into the yard was no longer the reminder; the nothing was able to ignore them after three months. The nothing was able to honestly say that when the woman was having a horrendous outburst one day, and the nothing had just read a saint book that said if attacked to make the sign of the cross in the air--that in doing this, the woman charged across and unleashed all the more, and the nothing feared physical assault as well as verbal. So, the nothing was able to say that it had told the priest about it, and that the nothing had resolved to henceforth only make the sign of the cross in its mind. In these small ways, perhaps God was shown to the detective. The nothing repeated that it wished no ill of the neighbors, but wanted to simply live here in its little quiet place, in prayer, spiritual reading, writing and gardening, going out to Mass, and otherwise quiet.

The greatest good today is pondering how to be in the Sacred Heart, and within to love and sorrow for all souls in the world--past, present and future. There is much rejoicing in this reality, and during Mass the thoughts melted into the Sacred Heart so much so that the priest had to jolt from the reveries at Communion time. It is all very humbling.

Ironically, St. Silouan had just last night been read, these words:

"When the soul prays for the world, she knows better without newspapers how the whole earth is afflicted and what people's needs are. She can pity men without the help of papers.

"Newspapers don't write about people but about events, and then not the truth. They confuse the mind and, whatever you do , you wont' get at the truth by reading them; whereas prayer cleanses themind and gives it a better vision of all things."


It was then written that one said to the Staretz that he still didn't understand, for he thought he could better pray with knowing the details from newspapers. But St. Silouan did not answer. He spoke no more but bowed his head in silence, how one can in spirit know the life of the world and the needs and tribulations of men when, remote from all things, she prays for the universe.

Perhaps this is the grace of last night, of the memories of such a peaceful and protected childhood, and then the immense sorrowing of children who do not have this but who live in terror. This was mentioned after Mass this morning, but the priest (not the regular confessor) began speaking of what the newspapers have said about children thrown off bridges and killed by their mothers--but the nothing reminded him that the nothing does not take newspapers or watch TV. It is as well. God does have His way of teaching us to pray as He wills, with the details He desires us to know, if any.

Thursday, January 10, 2008

St. Silouan's Mention of St. John of Kronstadt

Since Fr. Silouan made reference to Father John of Kronstadt (d. 1908), regarding how the latter was more with God than many solitaries even while being surrounded by people. This quote helps comprehend how to love others and to comprehend that the evil is not them but rather an aspect unfortunate.

"Do not confuse man--this image of God--with the evil which is in him, because evil is only his accidental misfortune, a sickness, a devil's dream; but man's essence - the image of God - is always there."

"As far as is it possible, be gentle, humble and simple to all, considering yourself, without hypocrisy, to be spiritually below everyone. Pride is the reason for a cold, pompous and insincere manner towards those whom are considered to be below us, or those from whom we hope to derive some benefit. When people speak ill of you and you feel resentment, it means that you are proud, and pride must be eliminated from your heart by worldly dishonour. Therefore, do not resent and hate those who speak ill of you, but try to love them as you would love people who benefit you, and pray for them. Maintain a peaceful and loving disposition towards your brother even if he deprives you of your last shilling; show him that, above all, you love God's image in him. However most people are angry when they are deprived even of a very small part of their property!"

St. Silouan's Comment on Inner Silence

From the book, The Undistorted Image, the nothing so benefits from St. Silouan's thoughts on inner silence and prayer.

"I [Archimandrite Sofrony] once asked the Staretz, 'Doesn't being steward and having to live among so many people make inner silence difficult?'

'What does inner silence mean?' he replied. 'It means ceaseless prayer, with the mind dwelling in God. Father John of Kronstadt was always surrounded by people, yet he was more with God than many solitaries.

'I became steward in an act of obedience blessed by the Abbot, so I pray better at my task than I prayed at Old Rossikon where I asked to go for the sake of inner silence. If the soul loves and pities the people, prayer is not interrupted.'"

The Nothing Catholic Nothing Hermit Nothing

With the lovely realization that I have totally assimilated--and appreciate and value the hermit life that God has chosen for me, and with the re-reading and writing of what the Catechism of the Catholic Church writes of the eremitic life, the Catholic hermit thinks, "Why wait?" Why wait until the first of February to stop the repetitious word which no longer seems alien or strange.

Within the writing, if the hermit needs to refer to self, which should indeed be diminished in time, the term "nothing" will be used instead. The nothing desires to assimilate, appreciate, and embrace being nothing.

It's the next phase.

Events in life are helping in this matter. This morning after Mass, the nothing returned to Agnus Dei to find a parcel on the porch. All that could be seen was that it was similar to the very first parcel, and that it had a letter with "to the animal abuser...", and something else inside. The nothing realized it could not even open the door and touch it. The nothing had had enough. It is well to know one's limits, even if nothing.

A different sheriff's deputy came. In the meantime, the Postal Inspector was on the phone and got enough of the saga, and said to make sure to give the one remaining hate letter mailed through the USPS, and ask the deputy to give it to the detective. The Postal Inspector is going to be in touch with the detective, and then they can figure out what to do, if anything, for the nothing.

The nothing also sent the young deputy off with the little red bag with coal inside; the nothing decided it wanted nothing more to do with it. The nothing was not going to forget to pray for the neighbors. Not a chance of forgetting.

Another aspect that helped the nothing to come to reinforcing nothingness, is taking an odd and rare visit to the internet at large, and looked up the "h" word. The bulk of those hermits mentioned or written about or visible, are public hermits. The Catholic hermit's writings were there, but this seemed to be one of the few private hermits writing. Now, that gives pause and ponderment. Again, the nothing ponders public writing, even if anonymous and nothing.

The various articles written about various public hermits, from Boston to New York to San Diego to New Mexico to Pennsylvania and who-knows-where-else, comment upon their having public vows or canonically approved or recognized by the Catholic Church through Canon Law 603. So, the nothing realized that all the private hermits out there are obviously of the kind to not want to be seen or heard, not recognized or publicly approved.

Then came the pondering of mission. Is it the nothing's mission to write about life as a private Catholic hermit cum nothing? Not so sure. Will discuss this with the da and the confessor.

There is no title, no recognition, no public approval for the Catholic hermit nothing. Dear God in Heaven, the nothing cannot even bear to have its name in print in a retraction of a public, printed defamation of character. As a former columnist, the nothing only used a pen name. Shudder a photo to be taken!

The nothing assumes this is part of the charism of a privately consecrated and professed Catholic hermit. Otherwise there would be a reason to be public. The nothing recalls a person met on a retreat, and this person broke silence to inquire about the nothing, for evidently something about the nothing was of curiosty. The person first off announced that he/she was a hermit, and was approved as a hermit in that Diocese. Well? This was during a time when the nothing was definitely not appreciating nor valuing the hermit life that God had chosen, etc.

The nothing again asks itself what is the value of any public anything? Does it become a means of recognition and status, or a point of introduction in person or on the internet, in newspaper and magazine articles? Does it make the vocation more valid to have the private or public "credentials" stated? Does it become like some academics the nothing has known, who desire the degree designations always to follow their signatures?

What can the nothing offer to anything? Nothing, really. The nothing would never want to have to list out credentials or degrees. Someone once asked by what authority the nothing writes. The nothing is not interested in defending by possessed degrees of the secular and Church worlds. Is not a hermit to possess nothing but the love of God?

Is there a good to be had by promoting the hermit life in the press or internet? Or, is it the case that the Catholic hermit life grows and continues century after century by its very nature and God's creating and desiring this nature, this vocation? Could it be simply another trick for trouble, and that another name for pride?

The nothing may consider an anonymous e-mail in case the one or two who like to read about what the nothing is reading and pondering, might want to read some of the thoughts and quoted materials. Not sure. Nothing, for now; no decisions. More considerations in prayer.

St. Silouan floated above such matters as designation, public, private, something, anything. He knew he was nothing, and that was something. And he knew that God was All, and that was everything.

The nothing likes this:

Father Silouan's attitude towards those who differed from him was characterized by a sincere desire to see what was good in them, and not to offend them in anything they held sacred. He always remained himself, convinced that 'salvation lies in Christ-like humility,' and in the strength of this humility he strove with his whole soul to understand every man at his best. He found the way to the heart of everyone--to his capacity for loving Christ.

The nothing so likes this, that the nothing prays and hopes that those who are willed by God to public lives, do not take offense at nothing. The nothing is so thankful for the ones who have to be somethings, such as deputies and postal inspectors and journalists and financial advisors/investors and Bishops and priests and politicians who make it possible for nothings to remain nothings in peace and joy and untold bliss.

What is it the nothing desires besides nothing? Nothing but union with God. Who does the nothing admire to imitate besides Jesus? The saints, such as St. Seraphim of Sarov and St. Silouan and Sr. Josefa Menendez and A Carthusian and more A Carthusian's and any holy nothings such as the nameless, elderly man, dressed in suit and tie, who comes to early morning Mass, day in and day out, and leaves with a Host in pyx for his invalid wife.


Wednesday, January 9, 2008

Catholic Hermits: Public or Private?

Perhaps on the year anniversary of the angel Beth, my guardian dear, telling me that I had not appreciated or honored the hermit life that God had chosen for me and valued very much, the hermit will not write the word "hermit" in reference to the hermit. Now, of course, I am told by my confessor to use the term "Catholic hermit." So, one obeys.

But in the writing, the use of the "h" word has helped the Catholic hermit to bond with the vocation, to accept it, to not cringe with the sound of the word, as that had been the hermit's immediate reaction when the guardian angel delivered that message. In this past year, the hermit has settled in, values and appreciates this life that God has chosen for me.

There remains an unfinished point of obedience, and that is the confessor telling me to "quote the Catechism " in my writing so that others who might read will understand what he had to clarify once again, for this Catholic hermit: the two forms of consecrated eremitic life in the Catholic Church. It is felt that people interested or praying about this particular vocation, could then pray for God's desire as to which He wills for the individual.

In this Catholic hermit's situation, God made it very clear over the course of a few months, what He willed, and by the decision of the Bishop and also through the hermit's prayer life and greater understanding of which aspect God can better utilize in this soul's given circumstances and environment, as well as--well--just that God knows each soul and knows what He knows is best.

The Catechism of the Catholic Church states regarding the eremitic life:

920. "Without always professing the three evangelical counsels publicly, hermits 'devote their life to the praise of God and salvation of the world through a stricter separation from the world, the silence of solitude, and assiduous prayer and penance.'"

921. "They manifest to everyone the interior aspect of the mystery of the Church, that is, personal intimacy with Christ. Hidden from the eyes of men, the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord, to whom he has surrendered his life simply because [H]e is everything to him. Here is a particular call to find in the desert, in the thick of spiritual battle, the glory of the Crucified One."

This is simple enough to comprehend. The three evangelical counsels are chastity in celibacy, obedience, and poverty. These professions may be made publicly but not always: they can be private professions.

If public, there is the option to go the way of Canon 603 which more formalizes the profession. This option can be read more in depth in a guide that was compiled by a religious sister about ten years ago and which is being revised. In that guide are collected writings and suggestions for the hermit life, including some revised statutes for the eremitic life by the Bishops' of France, the citation of CL603, and other sundry aides such as possible rites and sample rules of life. This guidebook has been used as that--a guide--in some Dioceses.

Or, if public profession is God's will and the hermit's accepted format for profession of promises or vows, Canon 603 does not need to be utilized or incorporated. If not, the hermit is publicly avowed and consecrated, but not bound by that Canon. Regardless of Canon 603 or not, a public profession is that: public. People know.

If private profession is God's will and the hermit's accepted format for profession, the process is not known to others in general and sometimes not in specific. A priest or Bishop may receive the profession (vows and promises). Perhaps it is between the cleric and the hermit, or perhaps a witness or a few are present. A ceremony may be selected from the above mentioned guidebook of compilations, or the hermit may research and develop a ceremony for this private profession. A token may be used, a type of habit may be selected, a form may be signed and dated. But these would all fall in the realm of that which would be hidden from the eyes of others. It is private.

Since private profession is the path God has chosen for this Catholic hermit, I will share a bit of the "externals", per se. The ceremony included an adaptation of a Medieval anchoritic rite. This was researched by the hermit, and shortened some due to the original lasting for three hours! The hermit's spiritual director (priest) spoke much of the rite, and the hermit read some of the Psalms and gave the responses necessary. The priest then gave a short homily or inspirational challenge message. He incensed the hermit, placed the crucifix about her neck after blessing it, and had that afternoon blessed the hermitage where the hermit lived at that time. The hermit knelt when professing the vows. The priest made formal, verbal reception of the same. One person was present with his baby, but this was not intended. The person just showed up part-way through the ceremony. (The hermit preferred this visitor not be in attendance, but isn't it often that we have our own plans and God surprises us?) The ceremony lasted perhaps 45 minutes. The priest gave the privately consecrated, professed Catholic hermit a large votive candle which was lit as part of the ceremony and avowals. This ceremony occurred in the candlelight of an old monastery chapel, on the night of the death anniversary of the hermit's Confirmation patron: Sr. Josefa Menendez.

The vows (or if the receiving priest wishes to call them promises) are repeated by the hermit each year before the Church altar and Tabernacle, kneeling with the priest standing in front, receiving and then confirming a blessing. There is no pre-planned event, but a simple, private, hidden-to-the-eyes-of-men profession.

There are good aspects to public or private profession and consecration of hermits. If in future the topic comes up as one to write, this Catholic hermit will write of the benefits and good of private profession, since this is this hermit's experience.

Being a publicly or privately professed Catholic hermit does not change the criteria as set forth in the Catechism. In fact, this Catholic hermit notices in this re-reading, that the life of the hermit is a silent preaching of the Lord.... Well, I guess the computer is silent other than the clicking of the keypads.

In the history of hermits in the Church, one can note that most we read about now did not make public profession. Even those in monasteries often professed privately to their abbot or abbess. But those who were and are publicly professed, live by the same criteria as privately professed Catholic hermits, as far as the three evangelical counsels, the stricter separation of the world, the prayer and penance, the life hidden from the eyes of men, in silent preaching the Lord, etc.

This has been helpful to write out in a kind of umbrella format, for this Catholic hermit, for although having the reference materials for several years now, and having made private profession over seven years ago, there was yet some confusion in the past year as to validity and credibility and viability of private or public profession. If one is willed to be a privately professed hermit, then Canon 603 would not utilized.

The spiritual aspects remain the same in either form of consecration, public or private. God provides the graces according to His will and in His timing and way. A privately professed, consecrated Catholic hermit does not receive more graces than the publicly professed, consecrated Catholic hermit based upon the profession being hidden or known. The graces are bestowed by God's omniscience and the poor hermit's needs!






Serenity

Of course, there is more to write about serenity, of substance. It just seems as if the Catholic hermit is checking in, writing from within the Sacred Heart in such blissful serenity. Yes, Agnus Dei is having a serene day-off from the world.

No hate mail came; only a call from my cousin in which I explained St. Silouan's experience of coming to such deep humility and repentance that he then comprehended Christ-like love which then included acceptance of great sorrow in suffering with the bonds of being one with all people. So we talked about this for awhile. I have an example to use, but it is not necessary to go into it. God knows; he heard me share it with my cousin.

The Catholic hermit is pondering these matters, for what the Bishop said regarding allowing enemies to be in our hearts, of what the Right Reverend wrote in the St. Silouan Foreward about Christ's heart being open to evil and good alike, and now putting it all together with life experiences: the Catholic hermit must love like Christ; yes. The humility must be deep and thorough; yes. The sorrow of sins and of being one with all past, present and future brothers and sisters who sin, as they are bound to me: this must be a very real sorrow.

It is sinking in today, the sorrow. It is a different kind of sorrow, though. It is a serene sorrow. There is much peace in this sorrow. Like the impervious peace of the soul, this sorrow is a facet now experienced this afternoon for the first time, adding lustre and beauty to the peace. Doubtful, it will ever leave.

This is the peaceful, serene sorrow of the Sacred Heart.

Lake Immaculata is ice-free; the sun slants from the west, as if rippling the waters easterly, gently, sparkling in its own expression of sorrowful serenity. They share the sorrows of nature in its harsh realities, for within days ripples succumb to icy sheathing, crusting, thickening, until spring thaws.

St. Silouan's Virtues

For a Catholic hermit, the virtues which St. Silouan exhibited are worthy of emulation.

His contant spiritual weeping avoided sentimentality or complaint, no trace of hysteria. In his chastity, besides bodily control, he avoided any thought that might displease God. He mixed with all peoples, loving sinners and saints alike. He was fearless in the face of temptation, had fortitude but did not come across as overly self-assured. He existed in awe of God and possessed a combined courage with meekness.

The Staretz possessed a deep humility. He liked to honour others but to be unconsidered himself, to greet others before being greeted. He set particular store by the blessings of bishops and abbots, and indeed of all in Holy Orders, but he was never obsequious or ingratiating. He had a genuine respect for people of rank and education, but no feeling of jealousy or inferiority--possibly because of his profound realization of the transcience of worldy position, wealth or even scholarship. He knew how 'greatly the Lord loveth His people,' and his love for God and man made him value and respect every man.

Simplicity cloaked his outer mannerisms but his spirt was aristocratic. He did not spurn or disregard and did not stoop to affectation. Silouan did not try to impress others; there was nothing ignoble in him. He did not laugh aloud, never derided or made fun of people. It is said that on occasion a faint smile would cross his lips, but he did not otherwise move his lips except in speaking.

Anger as a passion had no place in his heart, yet all that was false, evil and ugly he opposed absolutely. Backbiting, pettiness, narrow-mindedness and the like found no support in him. when he encountered them he would show himself inflexible, yet contrive not to wound the man guilty of them, either by a visible reaction or an impulse of his heart (for a sensitive man would feel that too). This he attained by inner prayer, which kept him serence and unreceptive of any evil.

One time a very famous, ascetic monk visited, and the ascetic shared much of his knowledge, and edified many of the monks. After two months, though, he felt he had not gained profitably in quest of his own spiritual edification. He had many conversations with the brothers, and they were carried away by this monk's teachings and thoughts. Fr. Silouan remained in a corner, listening. At the end of the ascetic's conclave of sorts, he asked to speak privately with Fr. Silouan the next day. Fr. Silouan spent the night in prayer, that the meeting with this knowledgeable ascetic would be beneficial in God.

He had noticed that the ascetic spoke many words but what he said of meeting man's will with God's, and about obedience, had been obscure. When the two met, Fr. Silouan asked this rather impressive Father three questions: How do the perfect speak? What does surrender to the will of God mean? What is the essence of obedience?

The spiritual atmosphere in which Fr. Silouan "dwelt" affected this other priest, no doubt, and he became thoughtful. After a silence, he said, "I don't know. You tell me."

This was the first of a step in humility for this ascetic who had spent two months impressing the others with his knowledge and talk.

Fr. Silouan simply answered: The perfect never say anything of themselves.* They only say what the Spirit suffers them to say.

*John 7:17 - "If any man will do the will of Him, he shall know of the doctrine, whether it be of God, or whether I speak of myself." [Douey translation]

"Anyone who is prepared to do His will, can tell for himself if such learning comes from God, or whether I am delivering a message of my own." [Knox translation]

Prior to this verse, Jesus had said that His teaching came from the Father, from the One Who sent Him. So, it does not mean that the perfect do not speak about their own lives (although if one is speaking from God, it is unlikely to speak much of one's own life), but that all that is spoken is only that which God is the Author, the Inspiration, the Source of what is said.

For this Catholic hermit, these virtues dash cold water in the face. Much to ponder; much more to practice; much more to pray for humility and all else that follows in purity of heart.

The Enormous Sacred Heart

At early Mass, the Catholic hermit realized that it is true what the Right Reverend had written in St. Silouan book's Foreward. The Sacred Heart has the door open for the evil and the good.

Guess I knew it was true when I read it and then wrote it out on a previous blog, but this morning, before the Tabernacle, the reality of just how enormous is Jesus' Heart--well, it all made sense. Later I told the confessor that it is getting crowded in here with all us schmucks.
He laughed, but it is true. The Sacred Heart is the place to nest, and Jesus has it stretched limitlessly for any and all souls who desire to enter. And we can bring souls in with us, especially our enemies' souls. Yes, the Bishop challenged us to put our enemies in our hearts, but if our hearts are subsumed in the Sacred Heart, then that is where we place our enemies' hearts. One is not breaking the law by bringing in our enemies, for the supernatural realm is not the world's.


A hermit who I admire--for this one seems to have ability to perceive, extricate from that which is not hermit-like, do an about face, and continue quietly in our vocational life of prayer and penance--has sent some links regarding St. Silouan the Staretz. If anyone is reading, these might be far more efficient to read than dragging through my blogs. One is an article which emphasizes the Staretz's teaching on love of enemies. http://www.pravoslavie.ru/enarticles/040218200410

Another site shared contains biographical information, some on his teachings, and photos. I never realized his head is perserved in a relic box, but my reading is wanting.

St. Silouan came to a degree of prayer, through years of God's teaching and grace, which helped him say often: "Our brother is our life."

The ascetic learns the great mysteries of the Spirit through pure mental prayer. He descends into his inmost heart, into his natural heart first, and thence into those depths that are no longer of the flesh. He thus finds his 'deep' heart--reaches the profound spiritual, metaphysical core of his being; and looking into it he sees that the existence of mankind is not something alien and extraneous to him, but is inextricably bound up with his own existence.

Through Christ's love, all men are made an inseparable part of our own individual, eternal existence. The Staretz began to understand the commandment, 'Love thy neighbor as thyself,' as something more than an ethical imperative. In the word 'as' he saw an indication, not of a required degree of love but of an ontological community of being--the commandment of Christ incorporates man in the whole Divine act of the creation of the world.


So, this means that we are linked with one another, in love; and when we comprehend that Jesus has taken into Himself all of mankind, and suffered for all of mankind, that we too ought to "think and feel like Christ--having the same mind which was in Christ."

St. Silouan began to interiorly weep in the intensity of his prayer for mankind. He had been given the gift of understanding and living Christ-like love, of taking to himself all of mankind. The tears are not to be confused with emotional tears; they were interior, of repentance, but hidden with a quiet weeping, peaceful yet profound and profuse.

We are to look upon every man as our eternal brother. In this world there are various distinctions but in eternity we are all one. We must take care of for one's individual self but also for the single whole. St. Silouan was shown the tortures of hell, and after that he prayed for souls separated from God--living and dead. God had told him: Keep thy mind in hell. So he prayed for those separated in various ways, and also for those past and in the future who would live separated from God.

Now, here are some aspects of the Staretz' prayer life when he'd spend long nights in solitary prayer.

...the words of prayer should be spoken very slowly, one by one, each engrossing the whole being. the entire person focusses into a single point. The breathing becomes... 'secret'...[concentration of the Spirit]. The mind, the heart, the body to its very bones, are all drawn into this one point. Unseeing, the mind contemplates the world; unseeing,

the heart lives the sufferings of the world, and in the heart itself suffeirng reaches its utmost limit. The heart--or rather, the whole being--is submerged in tears.

The Staretz' prayers were not verbose, though they went on for a very long time....'When the mind is entirely in God, the world is quite forgotten.'

When, for reasons we do not know, this dwelling in God draws to a close, there is no prayer, but peace, love and profound tranquillity in the soul, and a certain intangible sadness because the Lord has left, for the soul would wish to dwell in God eternally. The soul then lives out what is left of her contemplation.

It is noted that the Staretz prayed best--and are considered the best conditions for mental prayer--in darkness and with the least or no external stimuli. At times, he would be found sitting on a stool, praying with knit cap pulled down over his whole head.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Now the Regular Confessor Gives Advice

The regular confessor spoke with the hermit, and when he heard what the issues are, he said I must follow through. The hermit's concern has been that the hermit wanted to react in this situation of the libel and the neighbor situation, just as Jesus would desire and how He would act. But the regular confessor said that also in charity, the neighbor woman could harm someone in future, and must be stopped. So my attempting to stop this, might help someone later, besides helping others to not endanger themselves with breaking the law by mailing threats--or doing something more physical. So the hermit will deal with the world, the world, the world.

Yet, thankfully, the adult son is going to do the negotiating with the paper, and if the paper does not do the decent thing and print an explanatory retraction, then people are volunteering to write letters. It will not be regarding the neighbor woman but will cite what this has done in causing others to believe a falsehood, and then to react and act on it, and that if they are caught, they will face criminal charges. Letters will deal with responsible journalism but also hopefully calm the storm in the neighborhood. Maybe the hermit will be able to stay here, maybe not. Only time will tell. So much for the S of Stability, but one assumes God gives leeway to such matters, and hermits of the past centuries often had to wander for one good reason or another.

The regular confessor also mentioned to the hermit that St. Paul told Timothy to drink some wine to settle the stomach, as the hermit had some Irish whiskey in egg nog, after the trying conversation with the newspaper editor. But, praying the rosary would have been better. Yes, in all things, there is room for improvement. My imperfections exist moment by moment.

The confessor, also rather up there in all aspects of the Diocese, clarified another question the hermit asked, but that might be dealt with later on, or not at all. It really does not have to do with the spiritual life, with living out the interior life. But he said at some point I ought to make it clear for readers, even as there are but one or two who might happen upon this poor blog.

A dear friend who suffers much, is reading a book gifted her. It is St. Francis de Sales' Letters to People in the World. She quoted for the hermit his advice to a priest who had temptations in his vocation, that we must live what God asks of us, that we must be who were are and to live it.

I still chuckle at the difficulty in being a hermit and living it. By stating the "h" word in anonymous writings, there has been a good and gradual progression in accepting the vocation. Those who guide and direct my soul, know, and they assist in being such outstanding directors, wise and of good counsel, that my genderless soul in nothingness is elated with how it is all falling into beautiful place, nested securely and deeply within the Sacred Heart. That is a loving and suitable spot for any soul, and very apt for a hermit. Yes, for all souls of all vocations: this is the place!

It is ironic, that for one who detests being noticed, shrinks from controversy (but will do as directed and write truth (and that as it comes from those in charge of my soul), and so desires to be quite hidden and cocooned--that the world in unexpected storm is pounding rain on the very windows (and mailbox) of Agnus Dei.

As for writing on blogs, the regular confessor did not do as I'd hoped: he said that God would surely let me know if I was to stop, and that otherwise he said that it is very much a hermit thing to do, as it is anonymously cloaked in hiddenness. Always, always, the self is removed as much as possible. So now the spiritual da, the priest who advises from time to time, and the regular confessor so steeped in humility and meekness as to inspire--desire me to keep writing out my thoughts, writing out the quotes from some of these lesser-known or perhaps scarce books, to share with one or two others who might read, or might not, but to reinforce in my soul the good readings the Bishop said he wanted me to continue, and to strive to apply them to the experiences of every day life for a Catholic hermit in this time and place.

Yes, the regular confessor said to say "Catholic hermit", for he desires in meekness and to not be distracted by labels and options for consecrated eremitics, to simply refer to myself as the Catholic hermit. For, there could be privately avowed, consecrated Buddhist hermits, or Hindu hermits, or all kinds of hermits of other philosophies and religions. He told me to quote the Catechism of the Catholic Church so that others would know, but I figure those interested in the eremitic life will read and learn for themselves. It's in the section on consecrated life. He knows that my writing is more to do with the interior life, with living the life, and that it is enough for he and my spiritual da and the other priest and the Bishop to help me in my Catholic hermit life. He said to steer clear of words that would bring unnecessary debates on the technicalities that have actually little to do with my spiritual life as a hermit--a "Catholic hermit." He said he highly doubted if St. Benedict was hung up on such matters.

Yes, St. Francis de Sales: We will strive to be who we are and to live it!

The Third Deputy Arrives at Agnus Dei

The hermit is doing as the confessor said: dealing with this problem. This deputy was quite kind and read today's hate mail, and then said perhaps if the newspaper would print a retraction, at least the neighborhood and others who read the fabricated story by the neighbor, would calm down. Then, he said, we would have to wait and see if and when the neighbor reacts, and that way they could deal with her directly. He also said I need to report the threatening letters to the US Postal Inspector, as the perpetrators are using the mail. Off he went, saying he would place these last two items in the "evidence file."

My. The hermit admits to being a bit shaky. So the hermit spoke with the newspaper section editor, and went round and round a bit. The paper does not want to take any responsibility. Yes, they did not print my name or identify where I live, but as the deputy said, and I told this to the editor, they did not have to since they printed the neighbor's first and last name. It doesn't take much to find out who was the person she targeted as an animal abuser.

The hermit has done some editing this afternoon, and the world out there is filled with sorrowful cases of people basically ripped off by large companies. The hermit must not become scattered but must remain within the nest of the Sacred Heart, which is growing by leaps and bounds with all kinds of souls.

An adult son and daughter have been in contact; the son is going to step intervene as best he can, which is probably quite a bit since he is a journalist in a major city, and knows what he's about in such matters of the press. The hermit is grateful.

Writing of St. Silouan's marvelous spiritual life is going to have to wait until later. The hermit must do some manual labor, re-collect the recollected state of soul, and pray for the world. One aspect of St. Silouan, just as a tidbit of focus, is that he experienced such a union with other souls in the world through prayer, that he experienced interior tears of sorrow, and he suffered in union with the sorrows of Christ for all us human beings in our pathetic, sinfulness. So the hermit is going to ponder its own pathetic state and sinfulness--so helpless against false accusations. Is this not the cross we are to pick up daily, and to follow Christ?

The World, the World

Yes, the hermit is not to go out into the world, not seeking, but to live in stricter separation from the world, in assiduous prayer and penance!

Reading more of St. Silouan last night, the hermit was calmed and brought quickly around once again to the spiritual view. St. Silouan is progressing deeply in the spiritual life, in these pages read, and the hermit will write of them later.

But now, the hermit shares what the confessor advised this morning, and that is still to protect myself. The hermit did not want to, not after reading St. Silouan. The confessor (and not the hermit's regular one, but a priest well-versed in life and the Church) said I must read the Gospel of St. John over the next two days, and within it will find that the second time Jesus sent the disciples out, he told them to take a sword. He wants me to pray about this matter, for he still thinks I need to deal with the injustice of the defamation and the problem with someone who he is even more convinced suffers from mental illness. The confessor also added his emphasis on the demonic involved in this. Well, yes, the spiritual da had said that immediately: "Sheer evil! It's the devil!"

The hermit pointed out to the confessor that Jesus did replace the ear and did not want fighting, for it would hinder His mission. The confessor said, and the hermit agrees, that one must pray and ask what is the mission here with these souls who are instable and have caused others to threaten harm.

By the grace of God, the hermit is given such peace and joy! How beautiful are the writings of St. John!

Again, the hermit is not to go out into the world, the world, seeking; but God surely and beautifully brings the world, the world to the hermit!

Monday, January 7, 2008

Reconsidering What Has Been Advised....

Hmmm. The first hate packet was found when the snow melted. The hermit called the sheriff dept. to say it had been found, and did they need it? Turns out the case has a detective assigned to it, so the hermit is to hear back from him tomorrow.

A long time friend from another state called. This friends had fits a bit when I seemed rather detached about it all. The friend joins the couple or so others who have been informed of this situation, in thinking a lawyer needs to be involved, if necessary, and the newspaper needs to print a retraction. Also the alarm idea has resurfaced since it is becoming more plausible and probable that we are dealing with someone with mental illness. The volatile outbursts of the past are being recalled. The hermit needs to alert the detective to the summer accusation that the hermit had hit the grandson with the car. The friend says to get all on record, for everyone's welfare.

Yes, hermits are not to go seeking out in the world. The Lord does indeed bring the world to the hermits when He has some purpose for doing so. Prayer, humility, detachment, strengthening of inner peace, great love for others no matter what. Now the hermit will have the opportunity to show hospitality to the detective. When these deputies have come into the hermitage, the hermitage manifests Jesus Christ in the artwork, religious objects, and books. Did not the Bishop just yesterday tell us to manifest Christ to the world?

I now have the large framed photo of the Holy Father sitting up on a stand and leaning against a wall, noticed as one enters. He smiles at them and says, no doubt, "Be good! Be holy!"--and maybe even "Be Catholic!".

An adult says I must keep writing--even if others might disagree or misunderstand--for it is a way that the hermit works out how to grow, works out thoughts and situations, and places all before God for visual examination in words. An artist once told the hermit that the hermit is a wordsmith. Perhaps. But if there is a particular art form for the hermit, it is writing and always has been.