This hermit has considered the Bishop's letter, the response to two letters sent nearly five and a half months ago, requesting approval by the Church for the hermit's vocation. The hermit also extended an invitation for the Bishop to visit, and this as a means to discuss the hermit life, perhaps, or for him to see the hermitage and have a view of the sincerity and genuine intent of the hermit in donating one's life and love to the Church.
This morning the hermit awoke considering key words in the response of the Bishop. One is "interest", for he wrote that he had read my letters "with interest."
The positive in this is that at least the hermit provides "interest" to others. I suppose the other writings would be even more interesting, such as the hermit's private journals written over two decades and into the third.
Another positive is that the Bishop wrote: I believe at this time you should continue a life of prayer and good readings as you are doing.
This the hermit will obey, of course! The hermit has lived a life of prayer and good readings for years and years, for over two decades and into the third, and only in the past 12 years as a Catholic. This way of life is a pleasure and joy, and it answers other questions as to active role and donations and involvements, without specifying. This is a kind of rule of life: pray and read. The hermit will add writing, for writing is a variation of reading and is the hermit's God-given talent, perhaps a predominant one.
The Bishop also wrote, in response to the invitation to visit: I will be glad to visit with you, but do not have the time now. Perhaps we could visit after Christmas. I will give [my secretary] a date.
This, too, is a positive. It tells the hermit that the visit is not perceived by the Bishop as anything to do with hermit vocation but merely a kindness, an act of charity, by a very busy prelate with no time (and also much exhaustion with his job with people in the world and in the Catholic world of regularity and irregulariy and many problems to be solved). Perhaps, perhaps, and we shall see what Christmas brings beyond the remembrance of the birth of Our Lord, and of the coming of Epiphany, and all other feasts and memorials celebrated by the Church Militant and Triumphant and of the Suffering souls in Purgatory who, as a mystic stated, are released to Heaven in high numbers on Christmas night.
Then, in closing, the Bishop wrote: In the meantime, I promise my prayers.
This is most important of all written in the response. The hermit needs prayers, and the prayers promised by a Bishop are prayers indeed and in need.
This morning the hermit awoke with much pain in body and the heaviness in soul, of the reality of the rejection of my offering of love and life to the Church. But then came a beautiful prayer from a friend, which is to help against temptations.
"Behold the Cross of the Lord,
Begone you evil power.
The Lion of the tribe of Judah,
The Root of David has conquered.
Alleluia!"
Then the hermit pondered the Bishop's letter, and was grateful for a conclusion to the requests mailed several months ago, and of knowing what the answer would be, and of seeing the positives in the answers.
There is now even greater freedom, and the hermit is secularized as a hermit, for the angel did not say the hermit had been chosen for the "Catholic" hermit life but that God had chosen the hermit for the "hermit life." But the hermit is a Christian and is a Catholic at that, but simply a hermit.
The hermit is praying much for the Bishop, for it is awful to not have time. The hermit has time galore--as much time as ether has, which is a gas created by God, in the upper realms, to shine and burn.
The hermit was just asked to stand at a pro-life box for donated baby clothing to make sure items are not stolen, at a Mass, and is thankful to do so, as ether can hover by a box, holding a book being read, and pray.
Monday, October 8, 2007
A Couple More Rules of Life: Mary and Bl. Charles de Foucald
In reading, two more rules of life have appeared. One is of Mary in her life at Nazareth, upon the Holy Family's return from Egypt, and as cited in Raphael Brown's book (TAN) The Life of Mary as Seen by the Mystics.
"After they had settled in their home, Mary, who always observed perfect order in all her arrangements and habits, set up a rule of life for herself, so that she could she could again spend much time in prayer" (p. 149).
Bl. Charles de Foucald, in the rather scarce Meditations of a Hermit, wrote in notebooks found in his hermitage after his assassination. "Notes on the Spiritual LIfe" include an entry for Pentecost, June 6, 1897, in which Bl. Charles had asked Jesus what displeases Him most about Charles. Jesus responded, in part:
"In all you do, see only Me. In all you do, ask always, 'What would my Master do?' and do it yourself. Thus you will love only Me, thus I will live in you. You will lose yourself in Me and live in Me, you will have lost yourself, and My Kingdom will be begun in you.
"Your vocation. It is to preach the Gospel in silence as I did in my hidden life, and like Mary and Joseph.
"Your rule. To follow Me, to do what I should do. To ask yourself always 'What would Our Lord do?' and to do it. This is your only rule, but it is absolutely your rule. [emphasis added]
"Your spirit. Love of God and forgetfulness of self in joyful contemplation of My glory; compassion and grief for My sufferings; joy in My joy, grief for sins commited against Me, and a burning desire to see Me glorified by every soul. Love of your brother for My sake who love all men as a father loves His children. To wish for My sake for the spiritual and material good of all men. Freedom, liberty of speech, tranquility, peace. All for God's sake, nothing for your own sake or any other creature's.
"Your prayer. First Method. (1) What have you to say to me, my God? (2) This is what I have to say to you. (3) Keep silence with your eyes fixed on the Beloved. Second Method. Quis, quid, ubi, quibus auxilius, cur, quomodo, quando.
At Mass. Divide it into three parts:
1. As far as the consecration, offer Me to my Father and recommend your intentions to Him. Than Me for My cross and ask pardon for making it necessary.
2. From the consecration to the communion, adore Me upon the altar.
3. After communion, adore Me within you, thank Me, love Me, rejoice, be silent.
"Your thought of death. Think that you may die a martyr, despoiled of everything, stretched on the ground, covered with blood and wounds, violently and painfully killed. Wish this to happen to-day. If I am to give you this infinite grace, be faithful in watching and in carrying the Cross. Consider that such a death should be the object of your whole life; see in it how little other things matter. Think often of this death so as to be ready for it and to judge things at their true value in the light of it."
[Nineteen years later on December 1, 1916, Charles de Foucald was assassinated by the Senoussi at Tamanrasset, in the Sahara.]
This hermit here at Agnus Dei, rejected in my love and offering to the Church, must read this over during Mass and live it with Bl. Charles's help, and to create order in surroundings and habit so as to pray more, as the Blessed Mother did in her rule of life at Nazareth.
My place is through Him, with Him and in Him.
"After they had settled in their home, Mary, who always observed perfect order in all her arrangements and habits, set up a rule of life for herself, so that she could she could again spend much time in prayer" (p. 149).
Bl. Charles de Foucald, in the rather scarce Meditations of a Hermit, wrote in notebooks found in his hermitage after his assassination. "Notes on the Spiritual LIfe" include an entry for Pentecost, June 6, 1897, in which Bl. Charles had asked Jesus what displeases Him most about Charles. Jesus responded, in part:
"In all you do, see only Me. In all you do, ask always, 'What would my Master do?' and do it yourself. Thus you will love only Me, thus I will live in you. You will lose yourself in Me and live in Me, you will have lost yourself, and My Kingdom will be begun in you.
"Your vocation. It is to preach the Gospel in silence as I did in my hidden life, and like Mary and Joseph.
"Your rule. To follow Me, to do what I should do. To ask yourself always 'What would Our Lord do?' and to do it. This is your only rule, but it is absolutely your rule. [emphasis added]
"Your spirit. Love of God and forgetfulness of self in joyful contemplation of My glory; compassion and grief for My sufferings; joy in My joy, grief for sins commited against Me, and a burning desire to see Me glorified by every soul. Love of your brother for My sake who love all men as a father loves His children. To wish for My sake for the spiritual and material good of all men. Freedom, liberty of speech, tranquility, peace. All for God's sake, nothing for your own sake or any other creature's.
"Your prayer. First Method. (1) What have you to say to me, my God? (2) This is what I have to say to you. (3) Keep silence with your eyes fixed on the Beloved. Second Method. Quis, quid, ubi, quibus auxilius, cur, quomodo, quando.
At Mass. Divide it into three parts:
1. As far as the consecration, offer Me to my Father and recommend your intentions to Him. Than Me for My cross and ask pardon for making it necessary.
2. From the consecration to the communion, adore Me upon the altar.
3. After communion, adore Me within you, thank Me, love Me, rejoice, be silent.
"Your thought of death. Think that you may die a martyr, despoiled of everything, stretched on the ground, covered with blood and wounds, violently and painfully killed. Wish this to happen to-day. If I am to give you this infinite grace, be faithful in watching and in carrying the Cross. Consider that such a death should be the object of your whole life; see in it how little other things matter. Think often of this death so as to be ready for it and to judge things at their true value in the light of it."
[Nineteen years later on December 1, 1916, Charles de Foucald was assassinated by the Senoussi at Tamanrasset, in the Sahara.]
This hermit here at Agnus Dei, rejected in my love and offering to the Church, must read this over during Mass and live it with Bl. Charles's help, and to create order in surroundings and habit so as to pray more, as the Blessed Mother did in her rule of life at Nazareth.
My place is through Him, with Him and in Him.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Etherized and Sent Out Into the Galaxy
This was the phrasology from yet a different confessor, who knows the hermit's situation.
Yes, it is true. The hermit has been etherized by the "Diocese" and sent out into the galaxy.
My spiritual da put it differently: that while I do not have a place in the Catholic Church, I have a place with God.
Yesterday I was running late, getting things together for a distance drive to a friend's daughter's wedding but wanting to get to noon Mass prior to leaving the city for another city. I nearly stopped to take the mail from the box, but did not.
Upon returning to Agnus Dei today, I got the mail. The Bishop's long-awaited letter had arrived after five and a half months. The delay is understandable, as he wrote that he had been busy with jubilee matters and his sister's recent passing. But as to my request for approval as a hermit, the only comment made was what the hermit previously had heard: continue to live your life of prayer and good readings. He is too busy to visit with me now but perhaps after Christmas.
My suggestion of a visit was in case he would like to discuss hermit life, or ask me questions. Or to see Agnus Dei--but it is not now necessary. He does not have the time now, although he kindly said he would be glad to visit with me. I would not be glad to take his time, for he is tired and busy about many things.
Thankfully, the hermit is not--other than being tired from the driving to the friend's daughter's wedding. It was lovely. Not a Catholic wedding, but very genuine, heartfelt, prayerful, reverent and held in what used to be a Methodist Church, and very old. The hermit appreciated the nostalgic and reverential link with the hermit's church of childhood and upbringing, of fond memories and deep spiritual roots.
I am assimilating all these matters. Driving "home", and even during the night as I spent it with the friend whose only daughter was wed and on her honeymoon, and my friend's ex-husband with his new wife and all his family--yes, I had to admit that deep in my heart, something very precious had died. It had nothing to do with the wedding per se, although in a sense with the death of a great and deep love.
Something inside me has died, something profound and precious. It has to do with my offering my very life to the Church, and having my love and life spurned, rejected.
My spiritual da, prior to the conclusion of the hermit request, had told me that this is my crucifixion. Well, now, what is this but the sword pierced in the side, the finale of the crucifixion?
My passion is spent. I'm not sure where the hermit goes from here, other than to stay in, to stay in and pray and read. And write. I have a place with God, after all.
The confessor who stated that I have been etherized and sent out into the galaxy, also said that I must love the Church. I think that this is the rejection from the Church that has caused the death deep inside. God will show me his place, and He will lead me out, will blow His ethereal spirit into my etherized soul.
Ether has its root in "upper air" and "burn, shine". My late father came early one morning last week and spoke at length. He came from ether. My conscious cannot place the words he spoke but know he spoke, and the substance is what my conscious cannot deal with, or I'd remember. But I was thankful to see him and hear what he said, and I listened. My sense is that it has something to do with my many and recent requests, asked of the Virgin Mary, my father and my mother. We shall see.
Yes, it is true. The hermit has been etherized by the "Diocese" and sent out into the galaxy.
My spiritual da put it differently: that while I do not have a place in the Catholic Church, I have a place with God.
Yesterday I was running late, getting things together for a distance drive to a friend's daughter's wedding but wanting to get to noon Mass prior to leaving the city for another city. I nearly stopped to take the mail from the box, but did not.
Upon returning to Agnus Dei today, I got the mail. The Bishop's long-awaited letter had arrived after five and a half months. The delay is understandable, as he wrote that he had been busy with jubilee matters and his sister's recent passing. But as to my request for approval as a hermit, the only comment made was what the hermit previously had heard: continue to live your life of prayer and good readings. He is too busy to visit with me now but perhaps after Christmas.
My suggestion of a visit was in case he would like to discuss hermit life, or ask me questions. Or to see Agnus Dei--but it is not now necessary. He does not have the time now, although he kindly said he would be glad to visit with me. I would not be glad to take his time, for he is tired and busy about many things.
Thankfully, the hermit is not--other than being tired from the driving to the friend's daughter's wedding. It was lovely. Not a Catholic wedding, but very genuine, heartfelt, prayerful, reverent and held in what used to be a Methodist Church, and very old. The hermit appreciated the nostalgic and reverential link with the hermit's church of childhood and upbringing, of fond memories and deep spiritual roots.
I am assimilating all these matters. Driving "home", and even during the night as I spent it with the friend whose only daughter was wed and on her honeymoon, and my friend's ex-husband with his new wife and all his family--yes, I had to admit that deep in my heart, something very precious had died. It had nothing to do with the wedding per se, although in a sense with the death of a great and deep love.
Something inside me has died, something profound and precious. It has to do with my offering my very life to the Church, and having my love and life spurned, rejected.
My spiritual da, prior to the conclusion of the hermit request, had told me that this is my crucifixion. Well, now, what is this but the sword pierced in the side, the finale of the crucifixion?
My passion is spent. I'm not sure where the hermit goes from here, other than to stay in, to stay in and pray and read. And write. I have a place with God, after all.
The confessor who stated that I have been etherized and sent out into the galaxy, also said that I must love the Church. I think that this is the rejection from the Church that has caused the death deep inside. God will show me his place, and He will lead me out, will blow His ethereal spirit into my etherized soul.
Ether has its root in "upper air" and "burn, shine". My late father came early one morning last week and spoke at length. He came from ether. My conscious cannot place the words he spoke but know he spoke, and the substance is what my conscious cannot deal with, or I'd remember. But I was thankful to see him and hear what he said, and I listened. My sense is that it has something to do with my many and recent requests, asked of the Virgin Mary, my father and my mother. We shall see.
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Hermit Offends and Sees Self in Mirror of Pride
The hermit offended someone by basically criticizing the use of terminology used to describe the laity which seemed not positive or perhaps a bit demeaning. The hermit in doing so was also burning a bridge, a bridge the hermit must not cross again and needed to make sure the temptation was eliminated.
The offended party reacted more than what the criticism warranted. But taking offense is a matter of pride.
And, the hermit sees self in the mirror of pride, for having given offense to the person was a matter of pride, too. The hermit was reacting, as well.
Pride is a nasty business, and most hurts and woundedness find their root in pride. Detachment from one's own will, one's own view of "self", assists in the suppression of pride. Categorizing people places oneself above, and that is pride. Criticizing those who do so, as a means of pointing out another person's fault, can place the critic in a position of being above, of being the overseer of others' faults--and this mirrors pride, as well.
The hermit thinks the situation is resolved and admitted to the spiritual father that there was some orneriness involved. And he said it is understandable to be somewhat wounded and to react, and he laughed at the terminology used by the other to describe the laity, and then the explanation given. But all in all, the person will perhaps not categorize, as we really should not do this. It is not easy, though. The world consists in categories; the Church has them, too, even in the categories of "saints" and "sinners", of laity, clerics, religious, married, single, affluent, poor, marginalized, and on into categories such as common folk, educated, uneducated, controversial, submissive, weird, different, and so forth. It is a way of labeling, and we should strive to look upon others as "souls".
To not take offense is a virtue. It falls under the virtue of humility, and within that, meekness. This private revelation from the Virgin Mary to St. Bridget of Sweden expresses how the Blessed Mother lived her life after the Ascension of her Son, and it particularly bodes well in the last lines for those who need help in learning to not be overly concerned with others' opinions--that is, if one is living a life focused on Christ and striving in the virtues. If criticism is given that ought be considered and with changes needed, then one should care about what others think. But, in general, once a soul centers on Christ, and in so doing steps outside the labels and categories, the example of the Virgin Mary stands as a model in how to react by not reacting.
"After the Ascension of my Son, I still lived a long time in the world. Such was the will of God, in order that seeing my patience and my conduct, many more souls might be converted to Him, and in order that the Apostles and other elect souls of God might be strengthened. Also the natural constitution of my being required that I should live longer and that thereby my crown might be increased.
"During the time that I lived after my Son's Ascension, I visited the places where He had suffered and where He had performed His miracles. Thus the memory of His Passion became so imprinted on my heart that it ever remained quite fresh in my mind, whether I happened to be eating or working.
"My senses were so completely withdrawn from worldly things that I constantly alternated between new supernatural yearnings and sorrows. Yet I controlled my grief and my joy in such a way that I did not neglect any of my duties toward God. My way of life among people was such that apart from my scanty meals I paid no attention to what human beings thought of me or expected me to do." [highlight added].
From Mary as Seen by the Mystics, comp. by Raphael Brown (TAN), p. 244.
The hermit plans to keep this way of Mary's way of being quite close to mind and heart. It is worthy of imitation. Pride has no place in her way of life among people. Her senses were so completely withdrawn from worldly things.... She did not perceive others in categories, for she perceived God in all and all in God.
The offended party reacted more than what the criticism warranted. But taking offense is a matter of pride.
And, the hermit sees self in the mirror of pride, for having given offense to the person was a matter of pride, too. The hermit was reacting, as well.
Pride is a nasty business, and most hurts and woundedness find their root in pride. Detachment from one's own will, one's own view of "self", assists in the suppression of pride. Categorizing people places oneself above, and that is pride. Criticizing those who do so, as a means of pointing out another person's fault, can place the critic in a position of being above, of being the overseer of others' faults--and this mirrors pride, as well.
The hermit thinks the situation is resolved and admitted to the spiritual father that there was some orneriness involved. And he said it is understandable to be somewhat wounded and to react, and he laughed at the terminology used by the other to describe the laity, and then the explanation given. But all in all, the person will perhaps not categorize, as we really should not do this. It is not easy, though. The world consists in categories; the Church has them, too, even in the categories of "saints" and "sinners", of laity, clerics, religious, married, single, affluent, poor, marginalized, and on into categories such as common folk, educated, uneducated, controversial, submissive, weird, different, and so forth. It is a way of labeling, and we should strive to look upon others as "souls".
To not take offense is a virtue. It falls under the virtue of humility, and within that, meekness. This private revelation from the Virgin Mary to St. Bridget of Sweden expresses how the Blessed Mother lived her life after the Ascension of her Son, and it particularly bodes well in the last lines for those who need help in learning to not be overly concerned with others' opinions--that is, if one is living a life focused on Christ and striving in the virtues. If criticism is given that ought be considered and with changes needed, then one should care about what others think. But, in general, once a soul centers on Christ, and in so doing steps outside the labels and categories, the example of the Virgin Mary stands as a model in how to react by not reacting.
"After the Ascension of my Son, I still lived a long time in the world. Such was the will of God, in order that seeing my patience and my conduct, many more souls might be converted to Him, and in order that the Apostles and other elect souls of God might be strengthened. Also the natural constitution of my being required that I should live longer and that thereby my crown might be increased.
"During the time that I lived after my Son's Ascension, I visited the places where He had suffered and where He had performed His miracles. Thus the memory of His Passion became so imprinted on my heart that it ever remained quite fresh in my mind, whether I happened to be eating or working.
"My senses were so completely withdrawn from worldly things that I constantly alternated between new supernatural yearnings and sorrows. Yet I controlled my grief and my joy in such a way that I did not neglect any of my duties toward God. My way of life among people was such that apart from my scanty meals I paid no attention to what human beings thought of me or expected me to do." [highlight added].
From Mary as Seen by the Mystics, comp. by Raphael Brown (TAN), p. 244.
The hermit plans to keep this way of Mary's way of being quite close to mind and heart. It is worthy of imitation. Pride has no place in her way of life among people. Her senses were so completely withdrawn from worldly things.... She did not perceive others in categories, for she perceived God in all and all in God.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The Hermit Receives a Special Photograph
Today in the Agnus Dei mailbox the hermit discovered a large envelope marked with the Diocese seal!
Inside was the photograph of the Bishop and the hermit taken at the Marriage Anniversary Mass.
No, the hermit is not married to a mortal but is espoused to Christ.
Perhaps this has been shared already, of how the hermit crashed the reception following the Mass at which the hermit was Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. That was the day in which the hugely distressing and confronting phone call came shortly before leaving for the Mass. After the Mass, when the Bishop announced the reception and mentioned "champagne", the hermit felt inspired to go, mortally unwed or no.
After two glasses of champagne and connecting with a couple celebrating 25 years, the hermit yearned (again but in a different way) to have a photo taken with the Bishop, as the couples lined up, prepping their mugs.
The couple took pity on my plight and said I could be photographed with them. But when their turn came, the Bishop did not seem to comprehend the bubbly moment. I declined to join the couple. But the man whispered my desire to the Bishop.
After the photographer snapped the shot, the Bishop looked over at me with a jolt of renewed tolerance, and said, "All right, ****, come on over here and have your picture taken with me."
Only the Most Holy Trinity, the Blessed Mother and all the angels and saints would know what reserve of decorum was granted the Bishop in that moment to endure me, a singleton oddball, dressed in lovely black with black lace, for the occasion.
Yes, I think I wrote previously how the photographer, discerning me without a (visible) spouse, asked my phone number, which was not granted, not granted like the Bishop granted the hermit a photo-opp.
So the photo arrived today, and with it a little note printed "Compliments of Bishop *****".
The hermit stood it on top of the coffin-sum-comfort chest and orchid display, which alters as a kind of altar. In analyzing the photo, the hermit sees a shadow behind the Bishop's head, and is reminded that Jesus would certainly be there with the hermit and the Bishop, of course. The shadow is but a reminder of His Presence.
Then, as both the Bishop and the hermit wore black, also noticed for the first time is the juxtaposition of the hermit's large crucifix and the Bishop's pectoral cross--both beside each other over our hearts, our heights the same, and yet another reminder of the Two Hearts of Jesus and Mary.
Yes, it is a lovely photo, and a treasured keepsake and momento, and perhaps one to request be blessed. But probably not to ask the Bishop to do that, no. The photo is very likely the first and last photo of the hermit with the Bishop.
"Bestowal" Bestowed on Bass
Not often, but enough to recognize the import, a word is given to the hermit, a word from God.
For some time now, the hermit has been plagued with the sense that the hermit does not have a place in the Church, not a place as a hermit or otherwise. In fact, the word "place" keeps coming up, and even once the hermit said it to the Bishop: I have no place, no place.
He asked, "What do you mean, no place?"
The hermit did not explain. It seemed useless, for attempts to explain it to the confessor weren't cogent, evidently. The confessor said the hermit has a place with the laity. (But later he comprehended that this was not so, not at all for various and good reasons.)
Once more, one recent morning, the hermit had tried again to explain that a place was necessary, that the hermit needed to eventually be canonically approved. That met with the response that the hermit has consecrated privately and had vows received by a priest. True enough, but there was something more needed; the hermit felt it deep within as has been felt for some time. Not to be noticed, not for acclaim, not for recognition--but to have a PLACE.
Soon after that conversation, the hermit drove toward Agnus Dei, and at a certain spot now sign-posted in the hermit's mind, the word "bestowal" soundlessly verbalized into the overcast morn.
The hermit had been thinking: If a person can privately consecrate and avow, then what difference in that and being a secular hermit? But, to have the vows received by a Catholic priest must make the difference. And that is when "bestowal" was bestowed into the hermit's interior view and interior hearing.
It was a significant moment. Yes, bestowal somehow held the key. Bestow, bestowed, bestowal.
Later, the hermit did a little word research. Jesus has the hermit do this; it is like a fun little game, and the hermit delights in the clues and in unraveling the mystery using a favorite dictionary and now on-line research.
be-stow': 1. To use; to apply. 2.a. To set or place. b.To deposit; to stow. 3. To give or confer in marriage. 4. To give; confer; impart;--often with "on" or "upon." The Middle English bistowen is defined with "use for, devote to." The root of be + stowen means "to place", from the Old English stow, or PLACE [emphasis added].
The hermit wrote this out, ecstatically, for the confessor. It seemed to be the missing link. PLACE, PLACE, PLACE! To have a place in the Church, as a hermit, would entail not just the one-sided offering of consecration and vows, albeit "received" by a priest, but to have the other-sided return, the giving back, the conferral, the BESTOWAL. Bestowal is thus necessary! It is necessary in a valid marriage in the Church; it ought be necessary for a valid hermit in the Church.
The confessor didn't see it; skepticism marked the reaction, or at least no sharing in the enthusiasm. (Who could blame him? Someone's got to keep his head when the hermit has come upon a rapturous insight.) "It is not a liturgical word" was the response.
"It is Scriptural--it is in the Bible!" the hermit piped like some crack-beaked parakeet.
"But it is not liturgical." And that was that. For now.
The hermit's joy was not depleted, for what can death do to a seed crushed and fallen to the ground, already dead?
In times past, when a word was given to the hermit (then not a hermit), if another in the equation did not comprehend or played devil's advocate, it seems that God sooner or later provided a proof, and sometimes that proof was a bit shocking and incredible. Yes, incredible. That is another good word.
If Jesus wants the hermit to have canonical approval bestowed, to have the hermit be used for, devoted to, or PLACED, it will happen by and by, either on earth or in heaven.
The Aramaic for bestow is the same as for n'than, or Nathan. The hermit next plans to delve into Nathan in the Bible. It is an essential clue needing investigation.
Another possibility, of course, is that the hermit is not to be a Catholic hermit, or a liturgical hermit, but rather a secular hermit who happens to be a Catholic. But the hermit would rather not ponder that until the bestowal research is complete.
For some time now, the hermit has been plagued with the sense that the hermit does not have a place in the Church, not a place as a hermit or otherwise. In fact, the word "place" keeps coming up, and even once the hermit said it to the Bishop: I have no place, no place.
He asked, "What do you mean, no place?"
The hermit did not explain. It seemed useless, for attempts to explain it to the confessor weren't cogent, evidently. The confessor said the hermit has a place with the laity. (But later he comprehended that this was not so, not at all for various and good reasons.)
Once more, one recent morning, the hermit had tried again to explain that a place was necessary, that the hermit needed to eventually be canonically approved. That met with the response that the hermit has consecrated privately and had vows received by a priest. True enough, but there was something more needed; the hermit felt it deep within as has been felt for some time. Not to be noticed, not for acclaim, not for recognition--but to have a PLACE.
Soon after that conversation, the hermit drove toward Agnus Dei, and at a certain spot now sign-posted in the hermit's mind, the word "bestowal" soundlessly verbalized into the overcast morn.
The hermit had been thinking: If a person can privately consecrate and avow, then what difference in that and being a secular hermit? But, to have the vows received by a Catholic priest must make the difference. And that is when "bestowal" was bestowed into the hermit's interior view and interior hearing.
It was a significant moment. Yes, bestowal somehow held the key. Bestow, bestowed, bestowal.
Later, the hermit did a little word research. Jesus has the hermit do this; it is like a fun little game, and the hermit delights in the clues and in unraveling the mystery using a favorite dictionary and now on-line research.
be-stow': 1. To use; to apply. 2.a. To set or place. b.To deposit; to stow. 3. To give or confer in marriage. 4. To give; confer; impart;--often with "on" or "upon." The Middle English bistowen is defined with "use for, devote to." The root of be + stowen means "to place", from the Old English stow, or PLACE [emphasis added].
The hermit wrote this out, ecstatically, for the confessor. It seemed to be the missing link. PLACE, PLACE, PLACE! To have a place in the Church, as a hermit, would entail not just the one-sided offering of consecration and vows, albeit "received" by a priest, but to have the other-sided return, the giving back, the conferral, the BESTOWAL. Bestowal is thus necessary! It is necessary in a valid marriage in the Church; it ought be necessary for a valid hermit in the Church.
The confessor didn't see it; skepticism marked the reaction, or at least no sharing in the enthusiasm. (Who could blame him? Someone's got to keep his head when the hermit has come upon a rapturous insight.) "It is not a liturgical word" was the response.
"It is Scriptural--it is in the Bible!" the hermit piped like some crack-beaked parakeet.
"But it is not liturgical." And that was that. For now.
The hermit's joy was not depleted, for what can death do to a seed crushed and fallen to the ground, already dead?
In times past, when a word was given to the hermit (then not a hermit), if another in the equation did not comprehend or played devil's advocate, it seems that God sooner or later provided a proof, and sometimes that proof was a bit shocking and incredible. Yes, incredible. That is another good word.
If Jesus wants the hermit to have canonical approval bestowed, to have the hermit be used for, devoted to, or PLACED, it will happen by and by, either on earth or in heaven.
The Aramaic for bestow is the same as for n'than, or Nathan. The hermit next plans to delve into Nathan in the Bible. It is an essential clue needing investigation.
Another possibility, of course, is that the hermit is not to be a Catholic hermit, or a liturgical hermit, but rather a secular hermit who happens to be a Catholic. But the hermit would rather not ponder that until the bestowal research is complete.
The Hermit Burns Bridges
Typically, it is imprudent to burn bridges. One can be arrested for arson.
In the prudence department, it usually means that one is not going to be going back into a situation, and the innuendo in the admonition, "Don't burn your bridges", is that one might want to go back.
Sometimes, though, it is best to burn the bridges. Burning a bridge (or more) keeps one from going back into a situation that it might be best NOT to go back. Or, it also has the advantage of preventing others from going over that bridge (or more), for from one person's experience, another can benefit.
In the Gospel, Jesus admonishes the man who was asked to follow Him. The man asked to go back to bury his father. Who knows if the father was already dead or near death, or that the man wanted to go and wait around until his father died. The man wanted to go back over a bridge, and Jesus didn't want him to do that. He wanted the man to obey, to leave what was either dead or would die, and to come alive in following Him. The man became dead himself in going back to bury the dead.
The hermit has recently learned an invaluable lesson about bridges. The hermit for several years has tried to cross bridges, time and again, which turned out to be draw bridges. Once at the middle, the bridge would be drawn up, and the hermit was tossed back, down, down, down.
Finally, the hermit realized that God had other ideas, other bridges to cross. It seemed inconceivable, for what bridges are better than that of a Diocese or the Church?
Go ask St. Paul. He was sent out to the Gentiles.
This hermit has been sent over the bridge into the secular world and not to try again to cross over the Diocese bridge, in any Diocese. It has been a revolutionary experience. Once the shock was over, in traversing a bridge proffered, without having it buckle up under foot and toss the hermit back down into the troll-hole, the hermit experiences a kind of freedom and joy and happiness that have been missing for years.
In the process of being able to breathe again (deep gushes of fresh air into the soul), the emotions cleanse the mind as oxygen to the lungs to the heart-blood. The hermit is replenished, just like that!
The hermit has burned some bridges as a result. In one case, it was a bridge to any work or function in the Diocese. No need to go back over that. In another case, it may well mean not crossing the bridge to canonical approval.
The hermit is an uncommon hermit. The hermit breaks the mindset of what those in the environs of these bridges and countryside envision a hermit to look like, to act, to think, to be.
God only knows, God and what tidbits He feeds to the hermit. This is part of becoming a complete hermit, more complete than being canonically approved or noncanonically consecrated, privately or publicly avowed, privately or publicly consecrated.
Completion has to do with the state of the soul, wherein dwells the intellect and will and all matters ordained and formed by God, in union with God, in cohesion, in completion, with, through and in Christo.
In the prudence department, it usually means that one is not going to be going back into a situation, and the innuendo in the admonition, "Don't burn your bridges", is that one might want to go back.
Sometimes, though, it is best to burn the bridges. Burning a bridge (or more) keeps one from going back into a situation that it might be best NOT to go back. Or, it also has the advantage of preventing others from going over that bridge (or more), for from one person's experience, another can benefit.
In the Gospel, Jesus admonishes the man who was asked to follow Him. The man asked to go back to bury his father. Who knows if the father was already dead or near death, or that the man wanted to go and wait around until his father died. The man wanted to go back over a bridge, and Jesus didn't want him to do that. He wanted the man to obey, to leave what was either dead or would die, and to come alive in following Him. The man became dead himself in going back to bury the dead.
The hermit has recently learned an invaluable lesson about bridges. The hermit for several years has tried to cross bridges, time and again, which turned out to be draw bridges. Once at the middle, the bridge would be drawn up, and the hermit was tossed back, down, down, down.
Finally, the hermit realized that God had other ideas, other bridges to cross. It seemed inconceivable, for what bridges are better than that of a Diocese or the Church?
Go ask St. Paul. He was sent out to the Gentiles.
This hermit has been sent over the bridge into the secular world and not to try again to cross over the Diocese bridge, in any Diocese. It has been a revolutionary experience. Once the shock was over, in traversing a bridge proffered, without having it buckle up under foot and toss the hermit back down into the troll-hole, the hermit experiences a kind of freedom and joy and happiness that have been missing for years.
In the process of being able to breathe again (deep gushes of fresh air into the soul), the emotions cleanse the mind as oxygen to the lungs to the heart-blood. The hermit is replenished, just like that!
The hermit has burned some bridges as a result. In one case, it was a bridge to any work or function in the Diocese. No need to go back over that. In another case, it may well mean not crossing the bridge to canonical approval.
The hermit is an uncommon hermit. The hermit breaks the mindset of what those in the environs of these bridges and countryside envision a hermit to look like, to act, to think, to be.
God only knows, God and what tidbits He feeds to the hermit. This is part of becoming a complete hermit, more complete than being canonically approved or noncanonically consecrated, privately or publicly avowed, privately or publicly consecrated.
Completion has to do with the state of the soul, wherein dwells the intellect and will and all matters ordained and formed by God, in union with God, in cohesion, in completion, with, through and in Christo.
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