Love Thy Neighbor As Thyself

A friend e-mailed her daily message, and in it she commented she is making bean soup for guests, but she does not have "the right kind of beans." This seemed to be a very simple metaphor for what the hermit took lines and lines to try to explain about special prayers, in the previous blog.

It is like having a bean soup recipe, and sometimes the exact ingredients are given, but we might not have them or have the inclination to use them, so we toss in what we have. We might think they are the wrong kind, but in fact they might create the best bean soup--the best prayer thus far. The point is to glorify God with whatever we have within our means; and what we have within our means, be it beans or thoughts or words or sentiments, is what God has provided for our means to glorify Him all the more.

Now, on another note, yes, the hermit is definitely keeping the large framed photo of the Holy Father just where it has remained since opening the gift after Midnight Mass:

I am to keep that large photo so beautifully framed, right out here in the small great room, leaning up against my coffin! Just there, as it is. When I am slouched in this corner chair, he is across from me, smiling at me with a smile that covers that immense brain of his behind his eyes and face, and I think he is telling me to "Be good." Since no one comes here, anyway, he may as well remain where he is, leaning against my coffin for he is not dead yet, and neither am I. We are still rooted to earth, to the floor.

Also, the other day when the hermit opened the front door to shake a rug, there was noticed a small red bag shoved up awkwardly under the door base jamb. It was brought inside, and opened, and three pieces of coal were inside. Turning it over, the words were written on the bag: "You've been naughty."

Now, who would shove that little bag with coal where it was found? It was not placed there, but seemed to have been thrown, for it was in an unlikly position. Ah, the neighbors who had the diabolic attack a few months ago, to which the sheriff was summoned and then told us we are not to speak or to step foot on each other's property but to live as if a forest stood between our close-knit abodes.

No one has been to Agnus Dei; who else would have thrown it? The hermit was going to simply dispose of it, but then thought that God has brought this little red bag with pieces of coal to remind the hermit that indeed the hermit is naughty, is a sinner, and also has not been praying much at all for the neighbor. The hermit is quite used to the lights glaring all night long and appreciates not having to turn on lights to go to the restroom, and can even take an early morning bath without turning on lights, which allows a nice glow and savings in electricity.

The hermit placed the little red bag back where it was lodged against the foundation, under the door jamb, and will use it for as long as the hermit exists here, as a prayer reminder. If anyone comes to the door and comments or picks it up, they too will be asked to pray for the neighbors, and their neighbors, too, as we must love our neighbors as we love ourselves. Surely, the hermit will not get used to the little red bag, especially in other seasons.

Perhaps the neighbor will notice that the bag remains; and if so, that is as well, for in love of neighbor, it is as well to outwardly ignore such silly exterior actions but to place all in loving prayer. This is how we turn what may be immature or negative into good, which glorifies God all the more.

Now the hermit has written and written and written. There is work to be done around here, and Morning Office to pray, and a soup to make with whatever ingredients are in the pantry and fridge. God's blessings to all the angels and saints, much love to the Most Blessed Trinity and the Virgin Mary, on this Feast of the Holy Family! And to one or two who might read these noxiously detailed blogs, much love to you, also, as we are family in Christ and with the Vicar of Christ as our dad who does pray for each of us daily and loves us with the sacrifice of begetting biological children.

Sr. Josefa's Two Prayers Given Her

First, the hermit admits to a huge lie. I lied to my spiritual da. I thanked him for the immense and beautifully framed portrait of Pope Benedict XVI; he asked me if it was too large for my place. I lied. I said, "Oh no, it is just fine." He asked if I had a place for it, and I said that I would hang it maybe in my bedroom and was finding a good place.

Of course, it is still leaning up against my coffin in the great (small) room, while I increasingly bond with the Holy Father and see him kindly looking at me, much as my German ancestors surely are, and telling me to be good.

I had not really considered the bedroom, but my son who has wandered from his Holy Mother Church, on the phone when I mentioned the gift from the da, said he would not want to wake up in the morning and have Pope Benedict staring down at him. So I've decided that this is exactly who should be staring down at me, for even though I don't believe for a minute that he is stern as some want to make out, it will be good for me as penance for my lying about its size and having a place for it, as well as a prayer reminder for my son's rather flippant remark. The more I watch the Holy Father watching back at me, hands clasped,and a slight smile on a head that is absolutely brilliant beyond words--I may just need him out here in the great room, all the time. I guess there is no rule that he cannot remain leaning against my coffin. (The coffin is one made from old doors, stained, and a beautiful piece of furniture which has good storage space but also provides an underwindow chest upon which many orchids sit, looking out to the light and Lake Immaculata.)

Now for Sr. Josefa's prayers. It does me much good to re-type them. Even her photo reminds me uncannily of a loving young woman named Dolores who helped me years ago, after the back surgery, with cleaning. She was from Mexico. I don't know what happened to her, as I moved away but prior had moved the children and me into an interim small apartment and in tightness no one could do much cleaning, anyway. But later on, when a priest lent me the book The Way of Divine Love, and I saw Sr. Josefa's photo--I exclaimed: It's Dolores! Maybe it was Sr. Josefa come to help me even then, with the incessant suffering.

Josefa told Mary that she wanted to know how best to pray to Our Lord so as to give Him pleasure. This is Our Lady's reply.

What pleases My Son most is love and humility--so write:

"O sweet and dearly loved Jesus, wert Thou not my Saviour, I should not dare to come to Thee, but Thou art both my Saviour and my Bridegroom, and Thy Heart loves me with the most tender and burning love, as no other Heart can love. Would that I could correspond with this love of Thine for me. Would htat I had for Thee, who art my only love, all the ardour of the seraphim, the purity of the angels and virgins, the holiness of the Blessed who possess Thee and glorify Thee in Heaven.

"Were I able to offer thee all this, it would still be too little to honour Thy goodness and mercy. That is why I offer Thee my poor heart such as it is, with all its miseries, its weakness and good desires. Deign to purify it in the Blood of Thy Heart, to transform and inflame it Thyself with an ardent and pure love. Thus the poor creature that I am, who can do no good but is capable of every evil, will love and glorify Thee as do the seraphim who in heaven are consumed with adoring love.

"Lastly, I ask of Thee, O gentle Jesus, to give my heart the very sanctity ot Thy Heart, or rather to plunge it in Thy Divine Heart, that in it I may love and serve and glorify Thee, and lose myself in Thee for all eternity. I beg this same grace for all those whom I love. May they render Thee for me the glory and honour of which my sins have deprived Thee."

This is Josefa's prayer told her to say over and over againwhile at work:

"Oh my Beloved, who are also my God, make my heart a flame of pure love for Thee."

Holy Mother told her to say these words every evening before she fell asleep, saying the prayer with much respect and confidence:

"O Thou who knewest all my misery before Thine eyes were fixed on me--Thou didst not turn away from my wretchedness, but because of it Thou didst love me with a love mroe sweet and tender. I beg pardon for having corresponded so little to Thy love...I beg of Thee to forgive me, and to purify my actions in Thy Divine Blood. I am deeply grieved at having offended Thee, because Thou art infintiely holy. I repent with heartfelt sorry and I promise to do all in my power to avoid these faults in the future."

These are the words that Jesus told Josefa that she could say to His Mother that would please her:

"O Tender and loving Mother, most prudent Virgin, Mother of my Redeemer, I come to salute you today with all the love that a child can feel for its mother.

"Yes, I am indeed your child, and beause I am so helpless I will take the fervour of the Heart of your Divine Son; with Him I will salute you as the purest of creatures, for you were framed according to the wishes and desires of the thrice-holy God.

"Conceived without sin, exempt from all corruption, you were ever faithful to the impulses of grace, and so your soul accumlated such merit that it was raised above all other creatures.

"Chosen to be the Mother of Jesus Christ, you kept Him as in a most pure sanctuary, and he who came to give life to souls, Himself took life from you, and received nourishment from you.

"O incomparable Virgin! Immaculate Virgin! Delight of the Blessed Trinity, admiration of all angels and saints, you are the joy of heaven. Morning Star, Rose blossoming in springtime, Immaculate Lily, tall and graceful Iris, sweet-smelling Violet, Garden enclosed kept for the delight of the King of heaven...you are my Mother, Virgin most prudent, Ark most precious containing every virtue! You are my Mother, most powerful Virgin, Virgin clement and faithful! You are my Mother, O Refuge of sinners! I salute you and rejoice at the sight of the gifts bestowed on you by the Almight, and of the prerogatives with which He has crowned you!

"Be blessed and praised, Mother of my Redeemer, Mother of poor sinners! Have pity on us and cover us with your motherly protection.

"I salute you in the name of all men, of all saints and all angels.

"Would that I could love you with the love and fire of the seraphim, and as this is too little to satisfy my desires, I salute and love you by your Divine Son who is my Father, my Redeemer, my Saviour, and my Beloved.

"I salute you with the purity of the Holy Spirit and the sanctity of the adorable Trinity. Through these Divine Persons I bless you and desire to render you filial homage constant and pure for all eternity.

"O incomparable Virgin, bless me, since I am your child. Bless all men! Protect themand pray for them to Him who is almight and can refuse you nothing.

"Adieu, tender and sweet Mother; day and night I salute you, in time and for eternity."

Jesus then told Josefa, "Now, Josefa, praise the Mohter with the words of the Son, and the Son with those of His Mother."

"Never," said Josefa, "had I seen His Heart so resplendent, nor heard in His voice such burning enthusiasm."

---------------------------

The hermit for awhile, prayed these prayers, took them to Mass, and prayed them before going to bed. This was several years ago. Then the hermit realized that perhaps Jesus and His Mother would like the hermit to develop a relationship so close and loving, that the hermit would learn to consider Jesus and His Mother in terms within the hermit's time period--that into our hearts are given ways to honor and love Jesus and Mary and the Holy Trinity, in just the intimate words that He gives us within. And sometimes these words and prayers come spontaneously or from others. There is no need to reinvent or improve upon what these mystics and saints have been taught to say.

So one may pray the prayers they were given, or one can pray spontaneously, or even very simply, "I love You."

One may be vigilant as to prayers Jesus and Mary give us through others. A humble monk (Brother Rene) gave me a prayer to pray that he said would bring joy. It has taken three years, but there is joy now, a quiet, unassuming, unnoticeable-to-others-joy. This prayer is from the Raccolta: Heart of Jesus, Victim of Love, vouchsafe that I become a living, holy, pleasing holocaust in Thy Sight."

The hermit repeats this often. Also there are some prayers the hermit prays during Mass, but not many, and not always. Some came from St. Louis de Montfort; another came from the spiritual da, but he couldn't recall from where he got it.

One prayer Jesus gave the hermit before Confirmation, a few weeks prior: "O Jesus, let me die to myself in Thy Arms and be reborn of Your Sacred Heart, in love." Someone told me that it wasn't right to just have the love part, so I added on: "in love and service." Later I changed it back to that which was given me to pray, for to love begets service, even if it is the hidden service of suffering and prayer.

Perhaps if we were stilled enough, and asked, Jesus and Mary would indeed give us the very prayers that They desire us to intimately pray, for God deals with us lovingly, individually, with all the time He possesses, as if we were the only delights of His Creation! Of course, we are not; we are but small nothings created to glorify Him exclusively; but He grants us the ways in which He desires us to glorify Him and to honor His Mother.

But He also gives us various prayers and acclamations, for those of us who might not ask or who are pleased to pray what He--and often His Mother--have told others to pray. Nothing wrong with praying beautiful prayers given to holy souls such as Sister Josefa Menendez....or the three little children of Fatima...or the little prayers that grow and blossom in our simple souls.

Sister Josefa Menendez's 84th Anniversary of Passing

Sr. Josefa Menendez, mystic and victim soul, died 84 years ago today. The hermit appreciates this woman who was very much a kind of hermit within her religious community. She was a Spanish young woman who was sent to a house in France, and she did not speak the language. There she received visits from Mother Sophia Barat (foundress) and from the Virgin Mary and from Jesus. They all taught her how to suffer for Jesus, how to be a victim soul for the Sacred Heart.

Each year on this day, since Dec. 29, 2000, the hermit has renewed the vow of consecration to the eremitical life. This evening, after Mass, the hermit's regular confessor (who happened to be the celebrant, thanks be to God, for he is aware of the hermit's vocation), received the renewal of the vow, the hermit on knees before the rector, who stood before the altar. It took but two minutes or so, and he laid hands on the hermit's head and gave a blessing and said he received the promises made.

The hermit had been prepared that he might not even receive the renewal of vows. Who knows? One must remain detached, always, and open to the surprises of Our Lord. It cheered the hermit's heart to hear that he referred to this renewal as promises made. The two elderly people yet in the Cathedral had even gone their way, so the renewal was extremely private. And promises made--what a beautiful phrase!

The hermit did comment that last night there had been a nightmare of sorts--for the hermit--in which the hermit was shown to be very hypocritical and not living the life interiorly, or in having the life in loving order but rather being superficial in living the hermit life! The Rector smiled; the hermit exclaimed it was quite a nightmare and not doubt a means of God prodding the hermit to do better.

So thanks be to God that today is Sr. Josefa Menendez's date of passing from this world into that of the Holy Mountaintop, into the consuming fire where God Is--and her soul is melted into His Eternal Love. Thanks be to God that the hermit could renew "the promises made", in such humble and brief circumstance, but with major import, for God expects more of the hermit now, and a renewal of effort by the hermit, and to honor Sr. Josefa by increased effort in this hidden life of stricter separation from the world, celibacy and chastity, poverty of body, mind and soul, and obedience to the Church and to the spiritual fathers guiding this hermit's soul. As for assiduous prayer and penance, and bodily poverty--the hermit mentioned concern to the priest: the hermit lives a life of much comfort and has not done assiduous penance, not much at all lately. He said to let God handle that--that He will send penances soon enough and for the hermit to not go looking for them.

Well, the hermit then remembered the major suffering in the early morning hours, and of the awful dream, convicting the hermit of scandalous hypocrisy (dreams have a way of exaggerating to add to the shame and make the mark to be remembered vividly!).

Prayers of love and friendship, of asking for assistance in living a more hidden life and one of greater humility, penance, prayer and austerity have been offered several times today, speaking to Sr. Josefa directly. The hermit thanks God for her, and for what she wrote which is compiled in a book called The Way of Divine Love. The hermit has typed out two prayers that she used to offer, one to Jesus and one to Mary. Tomorrow, the hermit will repeat these prayers in a kind of "across the borderlines" unity with the dearest friend a hermit could have.

This afternoon the hermit spoke on the phone with the spiritual da/anam cara. The question of writing on a public type forum such as a blog--and admittedly writing just simple, personal daily thoughts and activities and not at all polished or intellectually astute to enlighten others--was a question the hermit posed. He said of course the hermit must continue, and primarily because it was a very good exercise for the hermit to work this vocation out in writing, as it unfolds. If it is of benefit to others, then good; and if there is controversy, that is to be expected. If others misunderstand what is expressed, that is part of baring one's soul. If the hermit shows its own faults and sins, then that is good, too, for humility and to learn and grow.

Earlier, the priest at noon Mass, when asked if writing a blog, albeit anonymously, is proper for the hermit, that priest said that of course it was, for it utilized today's technology to chronicle a form of life and might be of interest to a few others.

So, the hermit will continue, and will do as the confessor had said a few days ago, to strive to write in generalities if it is something that could seem to offend others, even if not intending to. The hermit today told the spiritual da that the hermit has been begging St. John to teach the hermit to write like him! But, of course, that is reaching to the skies where the Eagle soars; and the hermit is a nearly dead gray mouse or a weak-winged cabbage butterfly, flopping along pretty close to the ground--yet desirous of doing all for God that such a creature could possible do.

Who of Us Can Live with the Consuming Fire?

Who of us can live with the everlasting flames?

From Isaiah 33 come more descriptors of living a holy life, of who can dwell on the heights.

He who practices virtue and speaks honestly,
who spurns what is gained by oppression,
brushing his hands
free of contact with a bribe, stopping his ears lest he hear of bloodshed,
closing his eyes lest he look on evil.

He shall dwell on the heights,
his stronghold shall be the rocky fastness,
his food and drink in steady supply.

Then from Psalm 101 are the avowal of a good leader who sings to the Lord, who walks in the way of perfection. What does he vow?

To walk with blameless heart; not set whatever is base before his eyes;
hate the ways of the crooked and not have them be friends;
disown the wicked and keep the false-hearted far away;
bring to silence the man who slanders his neighbor in secret [ah, detraction!];
never to endure a man of proud looks and haughty heart;
accept not into close range one who practices deceit--and no one who lies.

The faithful may dwell within; those who walk in the way of perfection shall be friends.
Each morning the wicked shall be silenced; those who do evil shall be uprooted.

My oh my. The hermit has desired to put these in print ever since reading them last week in the Morning Prayers. Perhaps the reason the hermit writes at all is because reading and speaking tend to solidify within the soul when also written and then viewed with the eyes and pondered with the eyes of the soul.

At one level, the wicked and those who do evil could very well be one's vices. The virtues could be one's friends: the faithful in the land of the soul.

The hermit dares nest within the Sacred Heart, and is not able to live there, not really, but to nest there and be burned by the consuming fire. The very dreams convict the soul and bring to surface the pitch, causing the faults to burn all the more intensely. Then the day begins with more steps up the holy mountain: not near the summit, but burning along the way upward.

What the Carthusian writes in the book on the interior life is so true. God created us to glorify Him; He created all else to be of assistance to all else, to glorify Him--the good experiences, the negative ones, all people, animals, nature, thoughts, words--all of His creation is to be utilized to help the soul glorify God.

This takes mindfulness, of not having many distractions, of living a rule of life, of eating the Body and and drinking the Blood of Christ, for His food and drink are in steady supply.

It takes courage to keep all the negatives out of one's house--the house of body and the house of soul.

The hermit was trying to explain to someone who was irritated with a phone call and responded for that person to call back after he had accomplished what might happen. Wanted to be called when it actually did happen. Here is an example of how one can stop to consider how God desires us to glorify Him through an annoying phone call. The person could tell the one calling that prayers would be offered so that what he hoped would be accomplished would in fact come to fruition. In that way, God is glorified because a trifling phone call becomes one of prayer: the person receiving the call promises to pray for the good of the other, and the other is reminded that prayer is important in our daily aspirations and goals. Really, the prayers' outcomes do not matter as much as the turning of the negative reaction to a good, for all concerned, means glorifying God through goodness and prayer.

In this call as well as one other, the hermit listened to detraction. The hermit is praying and striving to become more aware of the hermit's complicity in detraction and also in downright detracting. These evildoers (the vices) must be rooted out! In both calls, the hermit said it would pray for those involved; and the hermit did pray and pray and pray, off and on in the day and night. The prayer of specifics became broadened to include like siituations of the past and those that would occur in the future--for God's realm is timeless. Prayer moves into His realm and thus is timeless and can be utlized by God in that sphere of everlasting love.

The hermit had a dream of being hypocritical, of doing a wrong beneath the surface, knowing it, but not enough fortitude to cease. The hermit is not in fact involved in the example within the dream, but perhaps the hermit sees another application, and it has to do with once more settling down to the vocation, to greater simplicity and selflessness. The hermit does know that God will give the fortitude, that it is simple enough to cease complexity and a certain lack in discipline in a surface area. Does the hermit exhibit proud looks?

The hermit is also praying about the writing. It is not concise particularly, and just the ramblings of a hermit soul's daily rumblings and stumblings. Perhaps a public venue is not best for the hermit. The hermit shall ask yet another "hermit question" of the spiritual da and of the confessor. The writing could be poured out in a private journal. And long-hand would certainly train the hermit to brevity!

Motives of the Heart

It is not easy to discern one's motives. Reading writings of a journal can be viewed from various perceptions, and even more so when the writer is not known by others but yet has a hard enough time knowing the self! However, the process is very beneficial, is personal, and thus it is humbling; on occasion (but rare) the writer re-reads an entry, and yes, it could seem (and maybe so) that pride is dripping from the nonpages--and not coated with self-renunciation.

The hermit has begun reading an old book titled Self-renunciation. It is by an Abbe Guillore. Too soon to chatter about the contents; and too soon to have much soull-shaping effects.

However, someone left a comment asking a question about suffering. I have been praying about this topic, for it has to do with praying and asking for suffering, as opposed to praying for God's will and accepting the suffering that comes--come as it will and does! So I share thoughts; the hermit-victimsoul shares thoughts.

The commenter writes that she prays for God's will and wonders if praying for suffering somehow crosses the line--for God does answer our prayers. My thoughts (and I have prayed that I learn to write from within the Sacred Heart and withing what would be Jesus' thinking) are that motive of the heart moves within the soul. The soul consists of the intellect and the will, and the these are also affected by imagination (includes memory) and emotion and senses. (This comes from St. John of the Cross' explanation of the soul.)

A person may pray to do God's will, but it could be a prayer such as: Do with me what You will; or, Use me however You want. Then God answers, but it seems He answers best when the motive is genuine. Sometimes the prayer has strings attached that only the heart knows, and sometimes the senses, the emotions, the imagination and intellect can sort of cloud the will and the love from the heart, thus graying the motive. One can sort of tell when the prayer is, as is said: heartfelt.

Yet, sometimes, in certain circumstances, souls have prayed for suffering. Why? Well, that surely must be answered within their own souls and the hearts' motives.
It could be well-intentioned and full of a kind of love, but perhaps that love is not pure--contains senses and emotion and imagination. None of these are bad; but they do tend to get in the way of a pure motive. Pure motives are not easy, and I wonder if a pure motive can be pre-meditated? It seems that purity comes as a grace and is more spontaneous. It seems that in these cases, the souls that pray for suffering do so from some kind of known or unseen invitation within the soul and the heart, from Jesus.

It can come in ways such as with mystics and saints to whom Jesus appears (like Sr. Josefa Menedez and several other victim souls)--and visibly and orally and literally invites them to suffer with and for Him, to assist in the great work of on-going reparation for the sins of the world. Could it be that the Blessed Virgin Mary was a victim soul, perhaps the first--who was asked to bear the Messiah and was also told part of her mission would include a sword piercing her own soul? I rather think so. (Again, I share thoughts and am not a theologian or authority of any kind, in anything! Even my hermit life is not complete, nor is my victimsoulhood complete; all is in process.)

The invitation to suffer with and for Jesus may also not be so direct. It could come in a dream or flashing, a waking image of being held up to Christ's wounded side, with blood flowing into the ear, and being told: Listen to my Blood! It could come with enough repeated sufferings and a kind of training in suffering, over a period of time. It could be as if Jesus is saying: Get with the program!--or asking: Do I have to spell it out for you and appear in person? Do you make me go to that extent for you to see that I desire you as my victim of suffering and of love?

Or, as I share on the other blog about victim souls, the suffering can be intermittent and not so formalized a situation; and while to be offered to Jesus in His work of reparation, it also and maybe more so, is given to a particular soul for that soul's spiritual progression and purtification. In either case, the soul is trained, purged, purified.

The soul who asks Jesus to allow that soul to suffer, usually does so with loving motives. Jesus knows; and with those whose motives are not so pure (even if that soul cannot see it), the prayer would not be granted, or it seems, if granted in a small manner, would always be in order for that soul to learn from Him (for He is meek and humble of Heart). The soul might learn that it cannot well endure the Cup that was given it to drink! Or, the soul might learn that its motives were acceptable to Jesus; and the life as a victim soul of the Sacred Heart of Jesus commences. It all takes much faith!

The saints often prayed to suffer. I suppose of those souls who prayed to suffer with the wrong motives, we do not read about--perhaps they were not granted the task because simply it was not God's will that they have that particular vocation.
For them, they are granted the usual sufferings that all humans will experience, highlighted by death.

Surely it is from a very deep and real and intense love of God from which the fountain spurts in a soul's heart, beseeching Jesus, for love of Him, to allow the soul to be so intimately united with Him as to suffer through, with and in Him. It is all done with and by Love: much Love--and a kind of innocence of motive. And that is what is so difficult for even the stated soul to know for sure. But the odds are better if the soul cries out this desire and is then rather surprised that it did so. Or sometimes the cry for suffering comes at a deep point of anguish over some situation in this world, and the soul is given light to see that it desires to help Jesus in any way possible: to alleviate His on-going sufferings, to participate with Him as what becomes the reality as the only way for that soul to help. This is all very mystical, of course.

I personally think that it is all right for a person to ask for suffering, to pray for this, if the motives are of love and not of wanting to tinker with phenomenon or to "sit at the right or the left" in Christ's Kingdom, so to speak. Then He asks, "Can you drink of the chalice I will give you?"

Jesus is merciful, and so when a soul asks to suffer, He knows the motives even if the soul does not; and maybe it does not matter so much if the soul knows. Jesus will answer as He knows best, just as He did for the apostles.

In that sense, the suffering that the friend (as example in the comment) prayed for, did come from God. It was the cup offered with the question, "Can you drink this?" Evidently the friend did drink it. Whether or not the friend benefitted from the loving potion of pain, and whether or not the friend offered all suffering for Jesus and thanked Him for personal lessons learned--even if it was that the soul was not so ready or able to suffer, after all--is between that soul and God.

Yes, I think it would be a lovely world now and hereafter, if everyone asked Jesus with loving desires and motives, to be able to suffer through, with and in Him. At this point, though, much of the world cannot comprehend the value of suffering, for that value is found to be within Christ's suffering and mission of salvation. To lovingly perceive suffering as meritorious, then, would be for a rather agnostic or even atheistic segment of the population to perceive Jesus Crucified, which would require admitting to our sinful natures and that Jesus died out of love for us in order to make reparation for our sins, to SAVE US eternally.

Our end is to glorify God. The reason God created souls to begin with is so that we could glorify Him. Other souls are created and all creation is created in order to glorify God and to help us to help one another (even through what might seem negative experiences) to glorify God.

We can offer our sufferings after the fact, or we can be prepared in advance. We can ask to suffer, but then we must be willing to drink that cup He gives. Part of the cup includes doubts and humbling failures, for we might not suffer so well as we think we can or would like. Also, the suffering might come once, and that is it. The devil does get involved against souls who with loving motives desire to suffer through, with and in Christ for love of Him and for love of souls. As a vocation, it is not so glorious for the self; it means pain, and that pain can come in all kinds of unexpected packages.

If a person does not ask to suffer but rather prays for God's will, that is all right. If a person has a nudge to ask for suffer but does not, that might not be so dandy. If a soul prays for suffering but is not ready or has the wrong motive, our Merciful Jesus will sort it all out and handle that soul accordingly. The soul might simply be given some suffering, and then perhaps if there was some genuine desire in the prayer, be given more training in suffering, and brought into the work full-time.

St. Catherine de Ricci, mystic and victim soul of the 16th century (Florence, Italy) and of the same era as St. Mary Magdalene de Pazzi (also a victim soul and mystic) had the exterior stigmata and suffered each Thursday night through Friday, the passion of Jesus. This went on for a few years, but it became more a disruption to others, so she prayed for it to stop, and it did. The outer signs of suffering sometimes appeal to souls, and although they did not at all to this saint, there have been known to be false mystics and false stigmatists--hysterical ones who even then may be well-intentioned. In these, the devil uses them.

God always brings good, no matter what. Even the false ones are good reminders that the spiritual realm and even suffering, require on-going discernment, prayer, practice, and suffering. For the false mystics we read about, do indeed suffer; and often their greatest suffering is eventually admitting or coming to the awareness that their desire to suffer might have been from impure motives, from selfish desire to gain attention, or just some aspect of their highly emotive, undisciplined nature.

I will share that over 23 years ago, I distinctly recall praying that God just use me however He desired. Circumstances in my life--something within me--seemed to not be right, and I came to a very simple, quiet point and at night remember praying that he just use me as He wanted. No big deal. Two weeks later, my life was turned upside down. It has been a gradual process of learning about suffering, which of course led me into the Cathoic Church, for that is what God willed, and then into the vocation as victim soul first, and now hermit, as God wills this hidden hermit life to be very beneficial in suffering for love of Him. At one point my deeper desires of my heart had at times come to a love of souls enough and a love of Jesus's mission--to desire to suffer more; so I prayed for that. And then I, through discussions with my spiritual director, was nudged to make a more formal vow of consecration of suffering. This I renew each year on the Feast of St. Pio. Each year, Jesus answers in ways I never anticipated. The suffering usually catches me (no, always!) off-guard, and I suffer like a fool. That makes the suffering even better, for I suffer poorly. I'm sure there have been times that I may have asked in love and for love of Him, to suffer, that He did not give me suffering. Yes, I can think of some instances, or at least it didn't seem that I suffered as I asked. One was just this fall, for I offered to go blind in exchange for a fairly young priest to return to his vocation as a priest, to have his eyes opened from his being swept off his feet by an older woman. I have not gone blind; he has not returned. God knows I meant good and not to inconvenience others had I gone bling! Yet, perhaps Jesus in His wisdom is having me suffer in ways I do not know about being particularly linked; or perhaps he is utilizing others who have offered and asked to suffer for whatever Jesus desires. He may be using their suffering in this particular case of the priest and the woman. (The woman needs reparation, too, after all. And don't we all?)

Always, the suffering in Christ for others includes the on-going work of reparation for one's own sins. Sometimes maybe that is the main work going on through our own suffering!

This is more thoughts than what the commenter probably needed or wanted, and I doubt they make much sense or are grossly repetitive. Again, the hermit reminds itself that this is very much a personal revealing of a very imperfect soul, imperfectly chronicling its bumpy journey of loving the Most Holy Trinity, and all.

The Hermit Dislodges Detraction Once Again

Of course, it is the Holy Spirit who does the dislodging, but the hermit cooperates as best a mortal can. Detraction is so tricky.

Today is the Feast of St. John the Apostle, the beloved disciple and quite the mystical writer. He is the only apostle who did not die a martyr's death (although endured much persecution, exile, and the trials of old age). The hermit prayed at Mass, asking St. John to please help the hermit with what is written--to have what is written and spoken come from within the Sacred Heart--that Heart upon which St. John leaned his head and listened to the Loving Heart Beat.

Thankfully, my regular confessor celebrated the Mass and heard confessions after. The hermit had more questions about detraction and went over a recent stimulating interchange of thoughts from a commenter to this blog site. The confessor made some clarifications on detraction. He said that Jesus spoke in generalities of what the Pharisees and Sadducees were doing, and although they felt it was about them, it was to help others to learn and to not be led astray. So he said on a public forum, it is best to write in generalities.

However, if someone is leading others astray through incorrect teaching or writing or speaking, then the person needs to be corrected; that would not be detraction. Jesus was trying to correct incorrect behavior and teachings.

Yet, again, he said that it is best to write or speak in generalities, and the hermit realized and confessed that there were descriptors used, and thus it surely went over the line into detraction--a kind of imbedded detraction. The example the confessor gave was to write in general, that we should not use a label of the Church, such as of a consecrated religious name, if we are not in an approved religious community or have left it. He said that, however, if others have corrected or challenged in a public forum or even privately, there is no need to jump on the band wagon.

The next issue was that of envy. The hermit submitted that perhaps there was envy that the hermit could not see within self, but was it there? The confessor said that this is not a particular cross for the hermit, but that others may have that one--and the hermit chimed in that the hermit has these other faults, yes! The confessor pointed out that one must not confess a vice that one does not possess. But that it is good to examine oneself if another--(he said even if someone who does not know the person interiorly)--accuses; good may be culled, all the same.

We moved onto the topic of, if there is not envy, then does being content with one's state in life mean the person is proud? The confessor said, no, that this is a grace and to be thankful. However, the hermit (and the confessor) know that the hermit does have pride and like a whale underwater, spouts visibly from time to time.

[The spiritual da at one point told the hermit that it is one thing to practice virtues, but the soul that seeks union with God must practice virtue to an heroic degree. This means going beyond in effort, in seeking the least and doing the most to our God-given abilities.]

In the confessional, the hermit gained greater appreciation for the innerworkings of the sin of detraction and how to avoid even the subtle aspects. Later, when the cousin called, we had a very good discussion about detraction. We each shared examples of when we had detracted, and how we could re-word or re-think the words or thoughts, or stifle them altogether. The hermit pointed out again, when asked, that detraction is the taking away of someone's essence or value by revealing their faults or weaknesses to another. Yes, it might be true, but it has lessened that person in the sight and mind of others. But, if that person is leading others astray, then that person should be corrected, and that would not be detraction. Usually the correction can be done privately with the person leading others astray; if not, it can be done publicly, but in a very general way of explaining how something should be done correctly.

Yes, the hermit is set aright again, thanks be to God and His Sacrament of Penance! The confessor gave a very meaningful penance, and the hermit prays for what was suggested. It will only improve the sharing, the writing, the loving hope for all our souls on the narrow path!

In leaving the confessional, the hermit asked permission for a "hermit question". Yes. Is it not a hermit task to be a lector? Is that too visible, too public? (The spiritual da had thought it a very good job for the hermit, especially since no one but the rector and another priest there knows the hermit is a hermit.) The confessor felt this a fine offering of the hermit, as the hermit only lectors one weekday Mass per week, and anonymity is not at stake. It was stated that he desires those who comprehend the Word of God and are able to read so that others can hear clearly.

The hermit may be dislodging, by the grace of God and power of the Holy Spirit--detraction many more times. But each dislodging with confession, strengthens the will and sharpens the intellect against this yapping sin.

A hermit of yore wrote: Go into your cell, and your cell will teach you. There is good in this, and the hermit is in Agnus Dei, awaiting in the silence on a cold, snowy day, further instruction.

Hermit Correspondence

The hermit corresponds on e-mail some, not much. There is the usual daily message exchanged with a Catholic friend who lives but miles away, yet suffers from some mental illness; so we both stay close to home for differing reasons. Then there is the occasional message from a relative, and a few other messages of a spiritual nature, here and there.

Today, on the Feast of St. Stephen, the hermit prayed for some people named Stephen or Steven. Another task was to mail two paperbacks sold on-line, as the hermit continues to try to put all in the hermitage in loving order (detachment), and this includes using up food items and ridding out books unnecessary and already read. If there is someone to gift them to, then fine; otherwise, selling at reduced price at least gets them out there and being read by others. There are always such lovely opportunities for encounter with the postal clerk as well as an encouraging e-mail to the book buyer.

Sometimes the hermit mails letters. This day the Christ Mass letter was readied for mailing. The process will continue tomorrow, as well. Within the letter, the hermit quoted another beautiful passage written by A Carthusian:

Where will this letter find you, I wonder? It matters little. My prayers, by way of God, know indeed how to reach you each day, and that suffices.

We strive to go out of this mortal frame of ours, which is bounded and limited by space. But however beautiful this frame may be, our soul, greater still, passes far, far beyond it to its own sphere, which is the infinite.

"Nothing is so calm as living"....Try to rest more and more, then, in that detachment from all that is ephemeral, and [rest] in that union with the Divine Will which is abiding.

The hermit thought this appropriate to share, connecting these sentiments with the gratitude of rest, of the gift of time to be able to practice the Nine S', and in this way, sharing the rule of life which is being practiced and is not by any means close to being perfected. Perhaps what the hermit writes will be helpful, as many of the friends and family members are older now--aging, and most if not all who will receive the Christ Mass Day letter are non-Catholics.

Of course, there is mention of the fruit of these person's efforts in helping the hermit rear the children into adulthood and independence; the hermit is grateful and expresses this loving appreciation.

No where in the correspondence is mention of the h-word. The hermit mentions a life of daily Mass, prayer, spiritual reading, writing, gardening or household tasks, and usually a daily errand and loving contacts with e-mail and occasional phone visitors. But to mention the hermit life per se would only distress the recipients of the letter, and once more, the hermit repeats the h-word to the hermit, mostly, as a means of full acceptance and reminder of the vocation.

The hermit dropped off one blog from the writing schedule; now no one who knows the hermit or who the hermit knows, knows of the blog sites. A niece asked in an e-mail, but the hermit distracted the question by caring about the niece's blog about her young family. This niece, a Mormon, would not comprehend the life of a religious solitary or that of victim soul.

In other hermit correspondence, the focus is on God, on spiritual life, and that also means Catholic life, for it is in the Church that we have the opportunity for full spiritual growth and life.

In a way, the infrequent phone calls (one today from a man who is struggling with an affliction but is remaining strong against trial; one from the cousin who likes to check in; and one from the hermit to the insurance agent--but even that had its spiritual note) are like correspondence but require practiced focus to listen to the other yet to maintain the spiritual focus not only in listening but in inserting the spiritual by drawing the spiritual view from all that is spoken. In time, those who call for a phone visit will know what to expect in content, for aspects of God will find their way into any topic. It is fun to practice this means of corresponding verbally, and the hermit accepts many errors but keeps practicing. The focus must be all for God, in all conversation and correspondence.

In some ways, this practice has reduced the number of contacts, for many people do not like it. Since the hermit has practiced not discussing "therapeutic needs", the conversations and correspondence have become all the more flavored with focus on God. This practice benefits the hermit more than the recipients, so it is a selfish thing in some ways, but the purpose is to glorify God. Discussing situations and people within those situations, remains a challenge.

While Jesus used people as examples and riled the Sadducees and Pharisees, His purpose was to teach others how to be or not to be; He pointed out wrongs, and the people knew who He meant, but He did so without using names or being specific. But yet, His point was to teach how we are to live by means of example and parable using real life situations--and people, too.

It is perhaps better for a mere mortal to practice conversing and corresponding omnia pro Deo and use as few examples or situations as possible, except with a confessor or trusted confidante if specifics are necessary. Usually, one can get the gist across by being vague. It is best in correspondence to write of the idea, the thought, the spiritual truth, and to glorify God by highlighting life as reflected through, with and in Him: to write from within His Sacred Heart.

What does He see and think to write about? How does He express His ideas? How does He make suggestions and encouragements? How does He show gratitude and also challenge?

Christ's way of conversing and corresponding (for they are linked one to another) must permeate the hermit as genderless soul, in nothingness, but corresponding and conversing from His Heart.

Christ's Mass Day: the Complete Hermit Celebrates

How does a complete hermit celebrate the Feast of Christ's Mass?

Much depends upon the degree to which the complete hermit acquiesces to God, His will--and to what Christ Mass Day brings from within the Sacred Heart of Christ. And that degree is really not known to the hermit.

However, on the day of Christ's Mass Eve, the hermit went to 8 a.m. Mass, and then ran yet another errand (they will end at death!), and then back to noon Mass, for there were to be confessions following, and it seemed somehow just the thing to pray with the priest and the people of God once more, and to thank Jesus once more for His receiving this soul and allowing it to nest in His Heart.

The hermit went to confession, which is like being within Christ's Heart and within His Heart, again within His Heart once more, as if nesting within nesting. Then not sure what after, for there was praying the penance and pondering--and returning to Agnus Dei, and writing and doing a little editing, and then waiting, waiting, waiting for Midnight Mass! There was a phone call within that waiting, and that was lovely. The hermit realizes that in our time, it is the phone calls and e-mails which constitute the "visitors."

For dinner the hermit ate beet greens, simmered in vegetable broth.

Midnight Mass: description runs similar to that of what it is inside the Sacred Heart. There really is not adequate description. Perhaps "Gloria in excelcis Deo" comes closest, if words make attempt. The Bishop had a homily more forceful, eloquent, refreshed and hopeful than ever before; but this is only because Masses build one upon the other, as in crescendo of glorias. Every aspect of the Mass is more, more, more and better, better, better. This is because the Mass is the closest to Heaven that we will experience on earth. Love encounters Love, and through Love, dies and rises within, and receives imperfect love into perfect Love.

The hermit drove to Agnus Dei at 2:30 a.m. and opened the large gift from the Spiritual Da, and sipped a thimbleful of Chartreuse (liqueur made by the Carthusians since 1605, utilizing 130 herbs). A thimbleful is enough to encourage physical resting. What did the Spiritual Da give the hermit? Out of a thin, flat box shown the gilt frame encasing Pope Benedict XVI's photograph! Not a small photograph, but a large one framed professionally, and worthy of a Cathedral vestibule or Chauncery office! The hermit laughed aloud and toasted our Holy Father with the Chartreuse, and said, "I must surely be an authentic Catholic now!" The hermit is bonding with the photo, and it is standing up against the hermit's coffin here in Agnus Dei's great (small) room. The hermit laughs because just a week or so ago came the chastizing e-mail from the Protestant woman who was "horrified" by the hermit's mentioning of adoring Mary and feeling close to her--as if adoring someone or something contains only one sense of the word, such as godly worship. I suppose a complete hermit ought hang the huge portrait of the Holy Father on some remaining wall space, if some can be found, and to pray for his intentions daily. Yes, there is a reason why Pope Benedict XVI is smiling gently at me right now. He has given himself to Holy Mother Church, and also must the hermit follow his lead, day in and night out, living the Nine S' here while the Pope lives his rule of life in the Vatican and all around the world.

The hermit was awakened Christ Mass morn, early, with a phone call from an adult daughter. All the adult children and their families are visiting the other parent and (re-married) spouse in a distant locale. Later, another call came; they are having a good visit, and the hermit is thankful, pleased, and yet very amazed at just how pleased and freeing this development is, from within the Sacred Heart. Peace and joy in even this otherwise past sorrowful occurrence of events.

Then some hot coffee and a treat of stollen, purchased on clearance. Then a hot bath to ease some pain, and off to 11:30 a.m. Christ's Mass. Yes, all Masses are Christ's. The Rector spoke about Christ's Mass. He spoke about much good that benefitted the hermit from within Christ's Sacred Heart, at His Mass. Gloria in excelsis Deo, again: this describes Christ's Mass.

A couple sat behind the hermit, and they were not Catholic, and asked the hermit some questions toward the earthly conclusion of Christ's never-ending Mass. Then we spoke after, for some time, as they each attend denominations that the hermit had attended BC (before being Catholic, before Conversion, before Confirmation as a Catholic). The man spoke loudly, and they both asked questions and showed themselves to be very on fire for the Lord. Yet, as the hermit knows from having been in their Protestant shoes, what they know is but a smidgeon of an immensity that Catholicism could open to their eyes if they chose to enter in--yes, to be received into the Sacred Heart. They wanted the hermit to join them for lunch, but the hermit declined. Yet, they want to get together again, to talk, and the man is convinced that the reason we met and spoke is for him to help the hermit with some perceived insurance need; but the real reason is for the hermit to simply invite them to become Catholics, to let them know that they could go to RCIA to learn more, and that their souls would very much go onto the next rung of the ladder, and would progress rapidly rung after run, if they could allow the curtain to be drawn open and the full stage revealed.

There really isn't anything other that the hermit could discuss with them, than this invitation. Did Jesus go on and on and beg people to comprehend? He said, "Eat my Body; drink my Blood; if you do you will have eternal life; if you do not, you will not have life." Some stuck with Him; others left thinking He was crazy or not willing to follow Him. It is like that in the Church, the Catholic Church, for there is a commitment. Even those who grow lax in their commitment, at some point made that commitment, and can return to an intense degree of honoring it, any time they choose. Yes, we do have so many choices that God allows us to make!

The man spoke so forcefully, that the hermit needed quiet and prayer in the Cathedral, alone, following their departure. By then, everyone had long since left, and the hermit was alone with the Most Blessed Trinity, with the angels and saints, and with all the souls of Catholics who for a century and a half had celebrated Christ's Mass on that very ground. Kneeling at the manger, praying the Morning Office in front of Mary, Joseph and the Baby within Whose Infant Heart-Made-Sacred, the hermit nests--the hermit thanked God for all.

Back to Agnus Dei, a little editing, a little baking of holy day bread to eat, a salad with remaining avocado and cheese, and later two phone calls to elderlies. The hermit wrote from within the Sacred Heart, this year's Christ's Mass letter to family and friends.

Now, after a snack of herbed brie and crackers, and considering another thimbleful of Chartreuse, the hermit ponders afresh the penance which the priest yesterday suggested, and that of asking Jesus to allow me to be reborn in graces and virtues for His use and in God's will. At first the confessor suggested that I ask Jesus to come into my heart with these, but the hermit asked if it would be all right if, since the hermit is nesting within His Sacred Heart, and the perspective is no longer "I" or "my" but of being trained to see all from within Christ's Heart, that the request be of what He desires for me, in Him. The "me" is still not "us", for "me" is yet sooty snow. Much gratitude that He allows sooty snow in His Heart and will continue melting that snow by His touch, and washes the blackened grit out His wound.

Yes, there will be some spiritual reading, and pondering of some Scripture, but mostly it will be pondering into the night stillness, and gratitude, and the wonderment of His love.

The complete hermit will smile from within His Smile, and will be extra tiny from within His Baby Heart of Sacred Immensity on this night of Christ's Mass.

The Joke About the Complete Hermit

Snow flies fast and furious at Agnus Dei on this Fourth Sunday of Advent. The complete hermit will need to leave a bit early for quiet reading in the Cathedral, prior to Sacristan duties, prior to Holy Mass.

The joke about the complete hermit is: the hermit is not complete at all. Nope.

Last week, after Mass, the hermit was remaining to to finish a biography of a saint. When the covers were closed, the hermit remained to pray and reflect on this holy woman's life, back in the 1500's, and how it is today, where she is, what she is about. A man and his wife came over to speak, and the man said, "It is all over!" (He meant the Mass, and he spread his arms out and up, as if to say, "Finished--!" with his whole being.)

The hermit smiled and said, "It is never over." The man did not hear, or did not listen.

And that is the way it is with the complete hermit. The hermit is never complete. Can't even imagine that in Heaven the hermit will ever be complete, will ever be over, will be finished. There will always be one more Alleluia or Gloria to sing, one more adoration, one more glorification of God Most High.

Inbetween now and eternity there is much incompletion.

So the hermit wants to remind anyone out there, if there is anyone reading, to read and to comprehend: it is never over. The hermit is never complete. That is the joke.

It only began when a friend a life-long Catholic, as so many Catholics and non-Catholics, did not comprehend what a hermit "is" and said this one could never be a "complete" hermit. So this term has been bandied about off and on. In one sense the hermit is "complete" as far as what is necessary within the Church. The hermit is approved as much as is necessary for this hermit, so that process is complete. The hermit has the rule of life, and that is complete.

Yet the living out of that rule is never over, not in this lifetime, and nesting within the Sacred Heart now, it will never be over. Eternity is like that. Eternity does not have a finish line.

There is no way possible for the hermit to follow just one snowflake whipping by Agnus Dei's windows, and see it to its final resting place. The process of the snowflake is incomplete, although many aspects of the snowflake may seem tangibly complete, whole and perfect--as much as possible for a snowflake. But to run its course--this cannot be complete because it transforms and modifies.

No, the hermit is not whole and perfect, yet in many aspects the hermit is not incomplete, either. Some aspects have been fulfilled, others will be, yet the perfection part of the definition of complete, is incomplete as a specific, solitary snowflake's whereabouts, right now.

Hope is Assaulted by the Devil

The hermit has been praying for a young priest who has fallen in love and has taken a leave of absence. In weeks of e-mails, the "assignee" has not responded. Finally the hermit e-mailed and asked who is the real soul--and it was not like him to not respond at all, even if what the hermit wrote to him was not what he wants to read. The hermit also said that St. Veronica is being asked to hold her veil, imaging the Sacred Head of Jesus, to this man so that he can see and discern, if he is still discerning.

Thus it was with much joy that the hermit received a short e-mail in reply, finally, after many had gone ignored. Somehow, the hermit only read much hope in his words! In hope-filled ecstatic joy, the hermit told the VG there had been a reply and there was "much hope!" Then the hermit told the Bishop's secretary to please let the Bishop know that there was still "much hope" in this situation, for this priest has been a priest for eight years, and he is the Lord's anointed, but going against his destiny at this time.

Then, yesterday, the hermit re-read his message, and there was nothing in it to base hope, not at all! In fact, he wrote of wanting to stand before the Lord justified, but that he needed to do so with his personal desires met. He said that being a priest could bring much good to people, but it was not fulfilling his needs and he desires more intimacy that goes beyond what a priest is allowed.

The hermit wrote back about the agnostic friend, with a new boyfriend, both in their sixth decade of life, and of the joyful activities they are experiencing,which is good, but these parting words reacted to the hermit's incomprehensible life: To each, his own.

So the hermit shared that it is not thus, not the self-fulfillment or the personal pleasures to each his own, but rather it is "To God, His will!" And surely, to God's will, our will given. No, it is not about us or me, even though the world and the devils lurking about the world, would want this notion to take root.

Why did the hermit have such hope from the e-mail, when on the second reading, there seemed little to no hope? The hermit seemed, then, quite foolish, going around proclaiming there is still "much hope!"

Then...
During the night, there was a major attack by the devil. Four black crows were eating the lushness of some ripe grain, some wheat; and I came along and noticed them. Then they lay down, as if in a rectangular nest (laid out side by side as in a four-pack coffin) and acted as if they were dead, for they sensed I was going to disrupt their devouring the grain. I picked up a spade to do them in, and when I brought it down on them with blade edgewise to crush them--and just as it touched and I heard the start of a horrifying "crunch", they transformed into two people: a woman and a man.

They seemed practically like natives of some sort, and heathen. The woman stood on my left and held my left arm with one hand, seemingly in a light grasp. The man stood on the other side and prepared some razor wire (like a clear fishing line but razor), and he was going to tie it around my tongue. They told me what they were doing, the man mostly, but it wasn't like I heard precise words: they just told me. Then they were going to tie each of my arms to upright stakes or posts on either side, so that if I would try to speak, my tongue would be cut off, and still I would not escape.

My son had gone on before me, and I reasoned he would come back looking for me, and would find me tied like that, but not realize the razor wire was around my tongue; so I would not be able to warn him without cutting off my tongue. Then he would see that and the immense amount of blood that would flow, but more so, he would also be snared by the woman and the man--or so I thought would be the case.

I decided, just as the man was preparing to tie my tongue with the razor wire, that I could break free of the woman's grasp and escape. But when I tried, her grasp was so strong that it was like I had become stone, and could not move: totally immovable in a density of gravity that was horrifying. The woman remained calm and even had a slight smile.

Then I realized I must speak out before the man would tie my tongue (be tongue-tied!), and so I began proclaiming Jesus Christ as Lord of Lords, King of Kings and our Salvation. I repeated this over and over. I knew that I would continue proclaiming Jesus Christ even after the wire would be tied around my tongue, and would lose my tongue, and then my life, but it didn't matter. I only desired to cry out Jesus' Holy Name.

With my crying out this proclamation, the demonic attack ceased immediately. I could not sleep, though, and was surprised that the Lord would allow the devil to attack me so violently, when I am a genderless soul in nothingness, nesting within His Sacred Heart. But He allowed me to know that I had irked the devil, and that the devil wants my mouth to cease speaking.

I explained this to the man with whom I decided to share this experience, and I interpreted it for him, as well. Why not? Is it not best to confront the devil and do the oppositie of what He wants? Are we not to glorify God by bringing good of a bad, and if that bad is a demonic attack, what better good than to cut right through to the truth? So it is this truth that I shared with the young man, and for his woman, too:

The woman is your woman; the man is you. This is what I know for sure. The devil used and transformed your forms and beings in order to show displeasure with me, to try to frighten and stop me. For what? For speaking in words what the devil does not want you to read or hear? Is it to show me that the devil has deceived both of you, and wants me to be tongue-tied? Was the devil angry that I had somehow read your e-mail the first time, and had near-ecstatic hope? And then the second time I read it, I could see just how much of your self-desire and self-fulfillment, and personal desire, was written in it? And that I know deep within that this is not you at all--any more than this woman and man are not you, not really you, but some awful impersonator of you? Crows surrepticiously eating the grain and when caught, transforming into heathen demons! The four crows became two because we each have two natures: body and soul, good and evil.

Yet I hope beyond hope. And the devil does not like this hope. But I see it for what it is, and I proclaim Jesus over and over, and He will conquer whatever is deceiving your souls and minds with such self-fulfilling desires. It is worth having my tongue razored off; I will not cease crying out for Christ to be known for Who He Is--and against deception. All the more I pray that St. Veronica continue to hold the veil imaging His Sacred Head for you to have before your eyes at all times. Just see His Holy Face, and do not desire anything but His Holy Will for your souls.

Now the hermit also responded to the man's comment in his e-mail: Not everyone can be a mystic. So he says this, and to what point? Does it justify going against his destiny? Is he already turning away, sad? The hermit explained in a response that everyone can be a mystic. What is a mystic? It is someone who thinks of God all the time. Cannot everyone do and be that? Of course! Not everyone desires this, however, for it requires choosing God over self, and learning this and practicing it moment by moment over the course of a lifetime, whatever course and time that life is given.

The confessor this morning told the hermit many encouragements regarding the taint of the hermit's soul and the mercy of God in Our Lord's on-going process of purifying the soul, genderless in nothingness, nesting within the Sacred Heart so pure and spotless. The hermit desires to not be sledge in His Heart! But also, the confessor, regarding the assignee and that the hermit felt so foolish proclaiming "hope" when the priest-in-love-with-the-woman had not written hopefully, at all--that the hermit is to "hope beyond hope".

Yes, it is hoping beyond hope, hoping when the climb seems all uphill, that the soul must tredge on and upward, yet in hope when there are no signs of hope to be seen. Hope remains. Hope lives in the Sacred Heart of Jesus; it is the Heart's rich Blood which nourishes with hope.

Another Tidbit of Goodness from A Carthusian

The spiritual da reminded the hermit that it is a luxury and gift to be able to spend day and night pondering God: reading, praying, thinking, reflecting, writing, learning, growing-- and all about God, in Him, with Him, through Him and back once more into Him to there remain as best a soul can with still a suffering body!

So much is interwoven: solitude, suffering, and then the fruit of joy as an outgrowth.

"A Carthusian" (see how hidden he remains, even after death?) writes something so helpful to hermits and to hermit-victimsouls:

There are souls who seek solitude merely in order to find themselves; there are others who seek it so that they may give themselves. Still, it remains to be lived!

Happy those who know how to put their whole soul into all they do. Because they are giving themselves, they will be able to bear much suffering, but their happiness will exceed their suffering, since the gift of self is the source and condition of life, and therefore of spiritual growth and joy. Go on, then, giving yourself: go on suffering...seek your joy inthat precious suffering that the gift of self entails. God Who became man knew no more excellent way than this when He was on earth.

The hermit finds that fatigue crops up in odd ways, and after seemingly "doing" little. Sitting is enough to increase pain. In the stillness, with little to do but put things into ordered love, God is teaching the hermit. A friend e-mails something: she says she is sensitive, naive, and is hurt by those who are more assertive.

The hermit agrees with the sensitive part. The naivete is something the hermit mentioned awhile ago to the confessor, and he responded that the hermit has been around enough to not be naive--has seen it all and experienced much of it. So perhaps the friend is expressing what the hermit was probably trying to express: shock--repeated shock and surprise--at the evils of the world, especially the lesser evils so rampant.

As for being hurt by those more assertive, the hermit has perceived this friend as being assertive, at least in her home setting. Part of this may be due to her illness, of a mental illness in which her voice becomes strident and delusions find root. But the point is: this is her perception, not mine. And when one has a perception about oneself, it becomes truth to that person.

Are we hurt by those more assertive, or do others more assertive hurt us? If it is us being hurt, then why? More assertive is a degree, and who knows if one is more or less assertive? It is all perception, and it is reflected from the self. When the self begins to consider being hurt, and being hurt by others, and being hurt by others who are perceived by the self to be more assertive--then it is self that is doing the hurting.

For, when the self asserts that perception, then those around that self wonder if it is they who have done the hurting--for such perceptions also can bring out the "self" in others. It becomes very self-centered, all these perceptions. One of the Nine S' is: selflessness.

During the night the hermit had a dream of much disorder and chaos. Family members of three generations were gathered, and they were to go to a Christmas program for the children. The hermit was caring for a small child, a baby with a bad cold and runny nose. So much stuffed in that little nose and hard to get it out. The house was cluttered and jammed with things and people. Loudness, movement, hustle, and criticism--for things were out of order and the parent figures were pointing out things that needed fixing. The dream neared nightmare point of frustration and tension, when the hermit looked out the door and saw it sleeting: and then mustered nerve to turn to one parent figure and say, "I cannot go. I simply cannot and will stay with the baby who has a cold."

From that instance, relief surged through even within the dream, and the dream dissipated into awakening.

Yes, it is very important to tend to putting things in loving order, and this includes if one is fatigued--even from doing very little. Put things in loving order within the soul, get the rest that is needed, if weariness is what is out of loving order. Tend to the physical body, if that is what is out of order. Put all in loving order. Give oneself in denying oneself.

The gift of self can be given in the offering to slow down, to not go, to not do more than what God asks, which is sometimes very little. What is it to glorify God? It can be as small and still and simple as blowing a nose and saying "I can't go, I simply cannot." That can be very loving, to love God by our complete surrender.

Also, an agnostic friend e-mailed of her many activities and said she hoped the hermit liked the peace of doing little, and added the line (flippantly?--but no, that is only a negative perception): To each his own!

The hermit replied in thought and not writing: No--To God, His will!

Detraction Does Not Dwell in the Sacred Heart

There is no room in the Sacred Heart for detraction.

The hermit has known about the sin of detraction for awhile, but the awareness is heightened to a degree unacceptable, now. Detraction cannot be within the hermit, for the hermit within the Sacred Heart is being purified, flake by flake, like the snow drifting and in time melting.

The sins must melt away and flow out the Wound. There is no room in Jesus' Heart for a hermit with sooty snowflakes.

Loving warmth that melts away the sin comes with prayer, after recognition. Now the reaction wells up, and counters to negativity may seem frozen until the situation is shoveled to reveal the fault, the soot, which is causing the disruption of joy and peace.

An e-mail arrived at Agnus Dei yesterday, via internet. A friend of Baptist and United Brethren background had written an assault upon the hermit's appreciation of this woman's poem on Mary. Yes, the woman had written a poem about Mary, and per usual, sends all her writings to many people. it was a nice poem, but it was a surprise that she would write of Mary, given her background and previous issues with Catholicism.

Now the woman went on the attack against the hermit's mention, two years ago, of adoring Mary and of feeling quite close to Mary. The woman said the hermit had "horrified" her with these comments, and then produced the typical Scriptural defense that Protestants use against Mary's embrace by Catholics.

The hermit e-mailed back, thanking the woman for clarifying what she thinks. The thinks was italicized, for in the woman's assault, she had written "I think" numerous times. Then the hermit pointed out that these comments are typical reactions from non-Catholics, but I am not delving into an apologetics discussion. Simply, that yes I do adore--I adore much, even the snow and also the joy and peace that God has bequeathed, and I adore many people and Mary, too.

This woman has asked in the past for me to pray for her or her family members. I said I ask Mary to pray for me, and that in our relationship, yes, we are close one to another. On another turn, the hermit mentioned an artist friend who is sculpting a series of bas reliefs on the Joseph panorama in the OT--for a local synagogue. The rabbi has come to his home once, and asked many questions of the crucifixes and paintings of Jesus in his home; the rabbi had little to no comprehension of Jesus.

So it is with the woman who wrote a poem of Mary as a sign; this woman has not the comprehension of Mary that others might have, for to comprehend is a deep knowing, and a deep knowing begs a deep loving which includes conversing and asking and thanking and adoring and also being taught by and from the other. It is a relationship: growing; alive; real.

The hermit later wondered if the response was a kind of detraction of and to this woman, as the hermit did react with an interior shaking, as one who has undergone a severe shock. So the hermit simply asked Mary to please show this woman who she is beyond the nativity writings of Scripture--if and when it pleases Mary in her wisdom to do so. The other must be open, of course. Writing a poem, at least, is a start; but was it written to honor Mary, or did the woman find pleasure in what she authored as the motive? Who knows? The first line in her e-mail referred to how her poems come to her as if already completed by God--but that she tweaks them over days and weeks.

Did St. John in his revelation tweak the writings over days and weeks? One wonders, and it doesn't seem likely. He wrote of the Woman clothed as the Sun.... He knew her and loved her; he had made provision for the Mother of God, Mary most holy, from the foot of the cross into her passing over, being assumed into Heaven and crowned as Queen of Heaven and Earth.

The hermit realized it is not for the hermit to take offense on behalf of Mary, or to take offense at all for what the woman had written in an attack, couched with words declaring it was not a criticism. Is not truth seen within a simple e-mail? It was a criticism; most would see that. So what? Charity takes no offense. If Mary understands where this woman is coming from and why (surely the Mother of God knows best); then the hermit ought to understand and smile with love and patience. There was no need to counter back, but the hermit did, a slight bit. Silly hermit.

Then the hermit's cousin called. The cousin is very tired from pouring herself out for others, over and over; her cup is empty. Is it wise to allow our cup to be emptied and not take the time in God to be filled, and then to give of what is overflowing? The cousin did the usual: complained about her elderly mother. Yes, her mother has criticized the daughter in the past; the mother differs from the daughter in priorities, for the mother is quite taken with outer appearances and is noted for this among family and friends. So? What the cousin reported this time was nothing to fault, not at all. Yet the pattern is set: leaping upon any comment, now, of the other.

The hermit's comfort level with the conversation, with the detraction, has come to a point that something must be done! The hermit cannot nest within the Sacred Heart and also as a participant, even of listening to detraction. No matter what--detraction, even if true, is detraction. It tears down another human being. Let the vanity authorities deal with the vain; let the pride authorities deal with the proud. Let the gluttony authorities deal with the gluttons. Jesus will deal with it all--all our vices. Who am I to point them out or discuss them?

Within the Sacred Heart, nesting there as a genderless soul in nothingness, the nothingness must be known. The hermit is nothing, and in nothingness must remain thus: emptied of self, emptied of inclination and collusion in sins, in the sin of detraction. Detraction disrupts peace.

The hermit is going to have to bring this up when the cousin next calls. It has come to a point of the lance opening the Heart to this problem. How horrible the hermit has been all these years! No wonder peace and joy have eluded the hermit. The hermit sees its detraction through the light from the Wound.

Then, last night, late, the hermit came across something regarding another hermit who is well-publicized. While not in my Nine S', and not at all possible as a genderless soul in nothingness, being known to the world or anyone does not fit into nothing, and being something does not fit inside the Sacred Heart. Then was mentioned in the article a religious community to which the other belonged, and the hermit discovered this was not a Church approved community.

Ah, how easy it is for us to not see clearly, to not see truth in ourselves, and then to promote ourselves. For what? We become large and somebodies, and only small and nobodies fit within the Sacred Heart, for the Sacred Heart is a nest in which the soul becomes one with God, and thus not one's self. It is all reality, as is the Virgin Mary a reality, and not just a proud poem.

The hermit wrote of this situation, thinking the hermit needed to set matters straight, to reveal the weakness in the other's seeming promotion; and then during the night the hermit realized the sin of detraction in the writing, and to let the others simply go and be and learn themselves, as this hermit [me] is being taught the hermit's [my] own sooty snowflakes--sludge and sledge that verge on the hermit's being miscarried right out of the Sacred Heart!

The hermit got up and deleted the entire blog, even what might have been of good; the hint, even the potent taint, of detraction requires expulsion, and all surrounding words with it. Detraction soils all like the encroaching black-turned-gray in snow defreshed.

Detraction does not dwell in the Sacred Heart. Not the detraction of others about others; not the detraction of others by the hermit: No detraction dwells where Love lives to purify souls.

detract - reduce or take away the worth or value of; deny or take away (a quality or achievement) so as to make its subject seem less impressive; divert or distract (someone or something) away from. 'drawn away': detrahere (Middle English, Latin).

White Nothingness at Agnus Dei

White came during the night. It thickens and brightens, blows its nothingness through and without. Hours shall pass before the hermit departs for Mass and the quiet Sacristan tasks prior.

Gaudete Sunday brings the fullness of joy. Of its own, joy is white; it is nothingness; yet we utilize the color pink. Sun shining on white makes it sometimes pink, if one stares awhile. Perhaps the eye begins to see through blood, and that make the white seem pink. Seeing through blood brings love into all, and pink is the color of love, it is said.

Joy is nothingness in the visceral sense. Most connect joy with an intellectual definition which is exemplified in emotional response to something the body and mind "like." But in its supernal nothingness, joy becomes as snow in the soul: a reaction of molecules affected by climate; tangible until touched, then melted into memory.

The hermit ponders joy, as someone who suffers has left a comment on the victim soul writings, relative to asking for joy, and in faith, in believing, the joy is given. Joy in suffering is particularly mystical. The commenter mentions having spent the second year of suffering, being silent. It was in that silence that the Lord taught her more of suffering, and also then bequeathed the joy.

Within the Sacred Heart, there is silence; there is snow; there is the nothingness of joy. No one can touch upon it without its melting into nothingness, so it is best to not attempt to grasp joy but simply to view it as a gratuitous wonder. The joy within the Sacred Heart often shows nothing--nothing emotional. Snow simply appears as a result of unseen molecular transformations under certain conditions. Such is joy.

Now, from within the Sacred Heart came a question the hermit asked. "When did the Sacred Heart become Sacred?"

The hermit immediately answered from within, that the Sacred Heart became Sacred when the lance pierced Jesus' Heart, and His Blood and Water flowed. But the hermit thought how the hermit writes, and then often has to correct what is written!

The hermit then pondered this, and asked a priest, a canon lawyer priest of Africa. He said that the Sacred Heart has always been Sacred, that one must view the Sacred Heart as God-is-Love, and that it was Sacred from before time began, with the Word.

Yet the hermit wondered how it was that the hermit is within this Sacred Heart, and is being trained to view all through His Wound, as if from a tunnel looking out into the world, and from within being trained to view the other world, going in and in and in.

So the hermit asked the Associate Pastor of the Cathedral who is very learned--a savant of Catholicism. He said that the Sacred Heart became Sacred at the Incarnation, for Jesus had a human heart, divine yet human. It is perfect, yet it did not become a "Sacred Heart" until He had a human heart to be then an object of sacredness.

This made sense, but then the hermit considered that all the writings from early on as well as artist renderings, always seemed to link the Sacred Heart with His wounds and even drops of blood, and often with thorns surrounding. The wound seems a major inclusion in any writings of the Sacred Heart.

So the hermit asked this priest again, since he had the Benediction later that day. He sais, yes, that the Sacred Heart's wound was important in the fulfillment of Christ's mission for salvation of souls and reparation for sin. But he pointed out that the Eucharist had been instituted the night prior, at the Last Supper. But, he agreed when the hermit pointed out that the renderings are not of an embryo's heart or an unwounded heart--that it seemed that the piercing was necessary to show us the way: that we too must be wounded and die (or die and be wounded?) to ourselves in order to be in union with Christ, to come into Him fully.

After last evening's Mass, the hermit asked the high priest, the Rector and Vicar General, this question. He immediately said that the Sacred Heart, in the Church's view, is much broader than Christ's Sacred Heart in its human form. It encompasses all of time, yet it is also viewed as an actual heart, and the wounds are depicted and the Blood and Water flowed, and were necessary to flow from the pierced Heart, to show the outpouring of salvation and the Sacraments of the Church. The piercing was necessary, he said, for these to occur. He agreed that when the Heart was pierced, the fulfillment of Christ's mission was complete with these facets of the Church, the Sacraments, and the Salvation of souls--and their salvation in an on-going form. Yes, of course, if souls participate and cooperate.

The Church's sacraments are available to us as gift from the opened, wounded Heart of Christ, and after He gave His life for us.

The hermit has been wondering, has been trying to be stilled enough to comprehend, if there is still Blood and Water within the Sacred Heart? Or, is the hermit in here in nothingness of these elements. Is the Blood still being shed? Well, at the Sacrifice of the Mass it is being re-enacted in its timeless form: the Passion of Our Lord. He offers Himself again and again.

Is the hermit and all those others, unseen but in here--suspended within His Heart, surrounded and ensconced in His Precious Blood? Are the Waters of purification, of eternal quenching, of the Church and our Baptismal washing--are these Waters keeping us afloat within His Sacred Heart?

The realities of the genderless soul, in nothingness, nesting within the Sacred Heart, are somehow important to discern. There is adoration within the Heart, and thus adoration of all within the Heart. Nesting gradually senses the surroundings; nesting is not only a place but a movement, a continuous floating flow such as the snow floats either as visible elements of white or clear droplets or microscopic hydrogen and oxygen, and invisible cold (what is cold?) and wind suspending and flowing (what is wind?).

The hermit can appreciate the answers of the Canon Lawyer and the Rector: of the large, inimitable view of God and His Church, of the Sacred Heart in timeless largess.

Yet for now, the hermit is very, very small and still adapting to the visceral aspects of the Sacred Heart by means of tangibles--of the written and illustrated renderings, of the imagination and understanding and intellect's comprehension of the Sacred Heart of Jesus. Yes, the hermit begins small commensurate with the smallness of the hermit's beginnings of this new life's now home within the Sacred Heart.

The expansive nothingness becomes immense with the growth of awareness, as adoration magnifies the soul's capacity to adore simply, and greatly, the Lord God.

Another Related Jewel from A Carthusian

Now here is yet another meditation for souls who desire to live all for God, and who suffer as victim souls, and who strive to live all for God and in their suffering, as hermits--and really, for all souls.

A Carthusian writes in silence and solitude, speaking to us in printed word long after he is dead not only to this world while alive, but dead to this world and dead in his body:

There are souls who seek solitude merely in order to find themselves: there are others who seek it so that they may give themselves. Still, it remains to be lived!

Happy those who know how to put their whole soul into all they do. Because they are giving themselves, they will be able to bear much suffering, but their happiness will exceed their suffering, since the gift of self is the sourc eand condition of life, and therefore of spiritual growth and joy. Go on, then, giving yourself: go on suffering...seek your joy in that precious suffering that the gift of self entails. God Who became man knew no more excellent way than this when he was on earth.

Now, the hermit-victimsoul-striving to be in genderless state of nothingness nested within the Sacred Heart, will cease the morning's writings, and reflect on these inspirations while putting a few externals into loving order about the hermitage.

A Carthusian Gives Clarifying Helps for How It Is, in Union

The Carthusian writings the Sacred Heart points out to the hermit these days of Advent, explain to any questioning souls, about how it is that a being such as the hermit [or any such imperfect soul that finds itself ensnared within God] could possibly be in union with God, nesting within His Sacred Heart.

A Carthusian writes:

This is because union with God, which is the source of divine peace in the soul, does not necessarily imply natural human perfection. Such union consists in perfect conformity with God's designs upon us. A soul can be supernaturally perfect--and consequently at peace--and yet have many natural imperfections. This is particularly the case with a temperament whic is persistently over-impressionable, and which vibrates to every breath from without, while the heart feels and echoes these vibrations. It is sufficient for the soul to accept this stsate of things and to make a constant effort, simple, calm, and confident, day by day, to keep under control this lower part, and to submit it to the guidance of reason, and above all to that of faith.

For that is what constitutes forgetfulness of self and abandonment to God. To forget oneself does not mean not thinking of oneself, but thinking of oneself to the extent willed by God. God wills that, for the life of both soul and body, we should take certain measures indicated by reason and approved on a higher plane by faith with a view to a supernatural end. Not to do so is neither to abandon oneself to God nor to forget oneself, but to tempt God and to depart from His designs. We abandon ourselves when, having taken these measures, we pay no heed to the results, but leave it to God to bring them about or not, as He pleases. This is true abandonment, which glorifies God, and brings peace to the soul. "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men of good will." The real good will is that of Him Who is Goodness itself and Love itself. A human will is good in so far as it identifies itself in all things with that Will.

Now, this is truth, beauty and goodness, is it not? One must ponder this from within the Sacred Heart, for the Carthusian who wrote these thoughts wrote them from within the Sacred Heart, learned them from the Heart of the Sacred Heart, and thus they are absorbed within the Sacred Heart.

Yet, they are piped out to the world through the Wound of the Sacred Heart. Yes, this is how the hermit is learning to speak and to perceive all: through this opening which has a slight bit of tunnel through a space of spirit and matter, which extends from the spirit of the Sacred Heart and out into the temporal world in which matter predominates but spirit exists. The hermit, however, is still matter and spirit within the spirit.

What is our end? It is to glorify God. How do we glorify God? In spirit and in truth. And some souls do this to a greater degree than other souls. The degree directly proportionates with the degree that spirit predominates; yet the matter is not shirked or forgotten, but to be considered to the extent willed by God.

Question to the Cathedral Rector

Of course, he is my confessor, usually. And this morning after Mass the hermit asked if it is theologically all right--if it is simply all right in any regard--to be inside here, inside the Sacred Heart of Jesus. He smiled and said it is perfectly all right.

Then the hermit asked about the perspective--and with consideration of what the Da brought up and what the hermit has also been pondering--is it all right to be taken by Jesus everywhere, as opposed to "my" taking Him places, as now "I" am the genderless soul in nothingness nesting in His Heart. Also, too, is it now to be that He receives "me" in His Heart through His Body and Blood of the Eucharist, and thus in some way, is it not "me" but rather "We" since "I" am within His Heart? And when does it become "Us"? (This last question of the "Us" I had in mind but didn't ask directly, but will next time!)

He said it is a matter of perspective, and that people have varying understandings and perspectives of this, so for some it is that they receive Him, but it is all right to consider that He receive us. Well, it simply must be this latter perspective now, for otherwise "I" would have to remain outside His Sacred Heart in order to receive Him. He has received me; He has taken me in like a poor mouse out in the cold allowed to scamper in when the door is left ajar.

He set His trap for me, for He saw me wanting in but my not realizing just how much I wanted in. He saw my little trail and my snitching crumbs and darting about from hiding place--to observing my emboldened scurrying from room to room. So He set His trap for me, and I am caught. He has taken me by the tail and has placed me in His cozy cage. I am within His Sacred Heart, and He will never let me go again. He is teaching me to become such a part of Him that it will no longer be other than We together as One.

But this comes with awareness and training, and sometimes the training is rather Pavlovian in essence; the mystical bell rings when the mouse must be reminded of the process.

The Rector had preached about St. John of the Cross and about how Jesus desires us to be within Him, one with Him, in union. He mentioned the dance, and how one leads and the other follows, and he played out this metaphor as being how we must follow Jesus through the promptings of the Holy Spirit.

Later, the hermit commented on this imagery, and that there can come a point in which the dancer is no longer aware of the music or of the leading this way or that, and somehow becomes enrapt in the dance without consciousness. The Rector saw this, of course, and agreed, and glanced the motion of one in ecstasy. Yes, this is how it becomes, and thus it is in the dance with God, within the silent, rhythmic Sacred Heart.

Then the hermit said that during the night, the hermit awoke and thought about last summer and how the hermit was in the clutches of the devil--yes was definitely in the clutches of the devil. And now the hermit wished to express from within the Sacred Heart, how much the hermit loves Catholicism, yes definitely loves Catholicism more than anything or anyone on earth, and this is said from within the Sacred Heart and felt from within the Sacred Heart.

But there is nothing loved more on earth and not on earth, than the Sacred Heart, and this is said and felt on earth and also not on earth. For the love in Him is a love begun with the love of earth but becomes God-is-love.

The hermit could not express this, though, verbally while standing in the glorious cold and gray St. John of the Cross morning, outside the Cathedral--but thinking it from within the Sacred Heart. No, only the joy came from within in an outside smile, and the joy of the Rector returned from his within with a smile outside.