Returned from private retreat ten days early. Bizarre happenings. It ended up being a "business" trip with much suffering and a couple or three more "assignments." Have been quite ill. Obstacles persisted through the final airport with an issue over a small vial of holy water. The line was drawn, however, and other airport employees kindly boxed the small bottle and shipped it free in plane's belly. One bigoted employee did not get her way, thankfully, and the holy water from Mariazell basilica was not tossed out.
A letter came from a woman who reports nerve problems much of her life. She writes of how lonely it is to be a mystic. The timing of her letter is apropos, for the retreat brought another encounter with a soul of unusual dimension and also horrific capacities.
The experiences float in and out; much is blurred of the time away. The body nearly emptied of electricity save for a ground wire. The soul at times seemed, this past week, about to detach. Much rest, Sacrament of the Annointing of the Sick, Mass finally and to see the Bishop and VG concelebrate, thankfully so. On eighth day of antibiotics and yet depleted, but sparks here and there, in evidence.
So much to mull over of the interior, of the experience which causes the nothing to confront an aspect of the soul. And this aspect causes the nothing to be yet more hidden. From Psalm 26 comes the assurance that the Lord has protected the nothing in His Tabernacle--and there the nothing shall remain.
For safe-keeping, the nothing must remain in the Tabernacle, and the Catholic Church is its only hiding place; and within that hiding place a very narrow nook for experience of others who have chosen to spill out the chalice, demonstrate a sorrowful fate.
So much occurred that is best, at least for now, not described. It has been shared with the confessor who has tried to comprehend. As for other matters, a confessor there in the distant land said to leave it to my Bishop. Another said God was proving the nothing. It seemed stretched beyond endurance, but here it be, and back at Mass late in the afternoon just past. And God willing and body able, to go today and from here on, and to remain in the Tabernacle.
"For my mother and father have left me, but the Lord hath taken me up." (Ps. 26)
