In reading Dom Leclercq's writing, in which he shares much of Bl. Paul Giustiniani's work of the 1500's and hermit life, we come to understand why it is that a hermit cannot be considered a hermit, in the religious sense, if not consecrated, of not canonically approved by the Church.
The previous post cites many excerpts from this writing which sets out the reasons. I add one, also: supernatural graces that come from being a consecrated religious.
Right now, it is the supernatural graces which I need most. The fourth "s", suffering, takes energy, and the attitude struggles to dominate the body, rather than the soul being suffocated by the affects of physical pain.
My confessor said he could not tell I was in such pain. This is part of the goodness of this suffering, that it is not noticed, to the point that it could be disbelieved.
Last night I dreamed that my old Irish spiritual da had given me a B+ in a course on the spiritual life, of hermit life! I asked him why I had not gotten an A- or an A. He told me that I was not focused enough, that I had not read extra on saints, that I had not put my whole self into it. He was very calm in telling me and not accusatory; it was just simple fact. I was disappointed some, but as he was telling me, I was diddling with some project or other, distracted and fragmented. I knew what he said was true. Yet I wondered if I had the discipline to do as required.
This is the true state of the soul these days, for I awoke with a lethargy from the pain, and knowing I had many manual chores and projects that could be done, I had not the energy from within to do much except drink coffee and make some sugary oatmeal no-bake cookies which might help boost the body's energy--like a jump-start!
Yet, I must consider helplessness, and in this, it is the prayer and Psalms and interior which will jump-start the mind which will support the soul in what true work is to be done. This work might include simple waiting--or going for a gentle walk, or not accomplishing much of anything.
That is why I doubt I can exist in a set horarium day by day but rather must live in the Order of the Present Moment.
I am most concerned, at this time, as to how to approach asking the Bishop and the Vicar General, either or both, to consecrate me as a religious eremitic, poor and B+ quality that I am. But somehow, deep down, I sense that this is necessary, or I will never be a complete hermit. No one would be or is.
A secular hermit is something I am not called to be. These great spiritual authorities say that without the Church's stamp, the hermit life is fraught with dangers. Yes, too, it would be false and self-imposed: invalid.
